I can't tell if these people are making fun of the Musical/Rhythm game genre or Harmonicas. Either way it's lame because I would totally play this game.
I don't intend to obscure the influx of new posts, but I've been meaning to post this since last week.
As you are all aware I was boxless for approximately 4 weeks time, with frustration mounting every time I couldn't play vids, watch DVD's or stream music from my computer. Tilla graciously supplied a haven for this XBox refugee to take out his frustrations, but it was still not enough. When you have a deep emotional connection with something, it is hard to function in your daily life. I struggled at work, I was undesirably grumpy most days (reminiscent of an Unky who can't get his daily donut ration). However this is where the story takes a turn for the good.
This last Wednesday I was getting myself ready to spread KofC goodwill and help a coworker lay down sod at his newly acquired house. I figured this would be a good publicity stunt for the masses to look at, and I would also acquire free pizza and beer out of the deal. All told it was a win-win situation. However as I was about to leave, I heard the familiar buzz of someone wanting me to let them into my apartment building. I of course didn't ask who it was through the intercom and just assumed I wasn't going to let in a random thief/murderer/kidnapper, and so I let them in. I politely waited to see if the person would come up to my door, with the hopes of the UPS man in the back of my mind the whole time. When I heard the knock on my door I peered through the peephole and lo and behold the UPS man had arrived bearing with him a box containing a new XBox 360 for me to kill nubs with. Now to the non-KofC member this may seem like a regular ordinary occurence, but when I think back this is what it felt like when I opened the door.
And so after struggling through hours of laying sod, followed by a third place finish at bar trivia, I was finally able to rush home for some Halloween evening Halo play with esteemed KofC harbinger of death Josey Wales. Once again the RROD is vanquished, and peace is restored to what was a very sad and frustrating 360-less existence.
Fellow Clan Members,
As most of you probably know, I was recently in the hospital with a severe case of mono. I started getting sick on Saturday and on late Sunday night/Monday morning the pain in my throat was very intense and I decided to drive home at 4 a.m. so that I could see a doctor ASAP. My father looked at my throat and thought it was probably a bad case of strep, but I went to see a doctor on Monday morning and the strep test came back negative. I was given some tylenol-coedine to deal with the pain, but my sickness worsened and worsened, and that pain medication proved to be very ineffective.
On Wednesday night / Thursday morning I woke up at 2 a.m. almost completely unable to breath through my mouth, and unable to talk at all or swallow, as my throat was basically completely swollen shut. My mono test came back positive and I was given steroids, super liquid ibuprofen, and morphine at the hospital. These helped some but I was still in much pain.
After a day there the doctor decided it was time for the glorious morphine pump, a pump which enabled me to give myself basically as much morphine as I could handle. Also during this time I had to get an ultra-sound of my spleen to make sure it was ok (it was, mostly) and a CAT scan of my throat to make sure they didn't have to operate on an absess. They were taking my vitals every 2 hours and my temperature was fluctuating between 97 and 103 fairly regularly.
Unfortunately, because of the mono and the pain, I was constantly sleeping, and would sometimes go 2 or 3 hours without any morphine, and would then wake up unable to talk or swallow again. Times were rough.
Yesterday afternoon I finally started to turn the corner, got off the morphine and back on some more steroids, anti-biotics and anti-inflammatories, and now I'm at home, with what seems to be only a normal sore throat. Although, I do have instructions from the doctor for no physical activity for a month, and I still have to take steroids and antiboitics, which apparently will make me extremely hungry. Sounds like a good a recipe to stay in shape.
Final diagnosis from doctors is severe case of mono, along with tonsilitis, deep throat infection, and possibly bacteria growth.
I look forward to making my return to Knights of Cydonia shortly. I hope my skills aren't too rusty. Oh yeah, and hospitals/insurance is a rip off. Because I have to have my own insurance, my deductable is 5k, which I have to pay for all out of pocket obviously. I wish I was rich like daymonster.
P.S. The picture is of a morphine pump
I realize this is old (3 days) news but I thought I might post about it anyways. Harmonix and MTV Games released the final set list for the greatest game to be released this year and possibly ever! (besides Halo obv.)
The list of songs spans five decades and should be a pretty good range of music, from heavy metal, to punk, to alternative. Here it is.
Those are a few videos that I think are worth your time.
Chicago, IL - The Daymonster, famed member of the storied Knights of Cydonia Clan, won scariest pumpkin at his office's pumpkin carving/painting contest. His entry "Ralph" beat out over 25 other gourdes to win the coveted paper ribbon.
"I really didn't think I had a chance. There was a real good batch this year, a lot of people can carve and they came out to show it tonight." said Daymonster.
While I do not know for a fact how Unky's date went last night; but here is how I imagined it went.
I did, however, have an idea of what the lucky female might look like.
I decided to do a little research to see if we could get a better guess. After "camping" Tim's facebook I have narrowed it down to 3 possible ladies (my results are based on a complex equation of wall posting frequency and picture appearances.)
Name: Meg
Pros: Doesn't appear to be ugly.
Cons: Either has a kid or wants a kid.
Name: Siri
Pros: Has nice teeth (as far as I can tell in a 1x1in picture).
Cons: Again, clearly wants kids ASAP.
Name: Ashley
Pros: Possibly has a good sense of humor
Cons: More than likely she is completely crazy.
The Date:
8:00pm: Unky picks up Ashley/Siri/Meg around 8pm outside the Library in his newly washed and vacuumed Warthog.
8:03pm: They exchanged pleasantries, and Unky tells a hilarious joke that makes Ashley/Siri/Meg snort, which eases the uncomfortable sexual tension.
8:08pm: They make their way to the local cineplex to catch the 8:23 showing of Mr. Woodcock.
8:20pm: In the back of the theatre, Unky sits down next to Ashley/Siri/Meg with a Large Coke, Sourpatch Kids and Popcorn, and places his arm around her.
8:25pm: The movie lights lower and Unky places his trigger hand on her thigh, she swoons.
8:45pm: Unky takes a page right out of Squatting Bear's book and places Ashley/Siri/Meg's hand it perfect HJ position.
8:46pm: Unky goes to the bathroom to clean up.
8:59pm: Ashley/Siri/Meg is gone. Unky goes to play Halo.
This is how I will remember this date happening until Unky posts the true story.
These were not the optimal conditions for Unky's first, first date in nearly 3 years, but it was a date nonetheless, and one that I am likely to endure significant taunting and ridicule from.
It is also not an optimal place to be posting pictures and/or names as certain KofC members still have access to Luther facebook. Unky has been subject to previous ridicule (chem video), so he feels slightly paranoid about giving information that in some way or another could be used against him.
Once assured of KofC loyalty following a trip report, Unky will proceed with more of the details.
As for now? Unky is going on a run.
The following conversation occurred on AOL Instant Messenger at 9:21pm CST. This is copied and pasted and is word-for-word and completely accurate*
*except for the last sentence
Daymonster: halo... now.
Unky: can't
Unky: unky date
Daymonster: liar
Unky: it's true
Unky: i'll have a good blog tomorrow
Daymonster: prove it
Daymonster: as long as we have pic and lots of info
Unky: haha
Unky: i promise i will give all details and include nude pic
I think we can all look forward to Unky's next post.
Recently, I posted a blog about Josey quitting Halo 3 and Law School to pursue a career as a male model. Now, some of you may have picked up that I posted this as a joke. This blog, however, is entirely too serious:
It was about 9 p.m. last night, and Rose had just come over. The two of us were going to watch some Heroes on DVD. I wanted to watch Heroes in the big TV room, as opposed to my room, because 1. It is more comfortable, and 2. The TV is much much bigger. However, being the considerate friend, roommate, and clan member that I am, I first asked Josey if he was planning to play Halo later, as I would not want to get in the way of a fellow member's training and fun. I thought Josey would respond that yes indeed he was playing later, and we would then watch Heroes in my room. HOWEVER, that is far from the response I got. Instead, Josey responded with, and I quote here essentially word for word (as close as I can remember): "No, I won't be playing any Halo until after finals are over."
Now, let's all take a moment to appreciate the magnitude of that statement. No Halo. At all. Until after finals.
(Squatting Bear lets it sink in...)
(a bit longer...)
Okay. Josey, you do realize that is over a month of no Halo at all. Your considerable skills will rot, and KofC will be missing a key member. I post this blog not to call you out, but instead as an attempt to rally the troops and bring you to your senses. We need you Josey. I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss your scent.
Fellow KofC members, please post your outrage and desire for Josey to return to Knights of Cydonia here.
The Knights of Cydonia had it's 1337th visitor today. I documented this occasion with the below screen shot.
In a related moment, Halo 3 turns one month old at midnight tonight. It seems like was only a month ago that I was sitting in this chair counting the hours until I would make my way over to Gamestop (which I am investing in) for the midnight release.
A lot has changed in the last month. I have get significantly less sleep every night now that I play Halo, but mostly I have been obsessing over my internet speed. I quadrupled the amount of money I spend on internet so I could have the fastest residential speed possible. Sadly I was mistaken, while I can download soft core at an amazing rate, I still get booted out of games on an all-too-frequent basis.
I have called RCN and Xbox live to try to get it figured out. And every time it leads to nothing. Last night I talked to some Xbox Live Tech Support Girl (girl? that was my first problem... I kid) This is what I imagined she looked like.
Here is how the call went.
LTSG: Thank you for calling Xbox Live Technical Support can I have your first and last name please?
Me: "My Name"
XLTSG: May I call you Mr. Baymont?
Me: Uhhh, yeah I guess.
XLTSG: What is your Xbox Live Gamertag Mr. Baymont?
Me: The Daymonster
XLTSG: The Baymonster?
Me: No... The Daymonster, with a 'D' as in Dog
XLTSG: Yes, the Baymonster?
(You get the idea... this went on for longer than I or she would care to admit. Funny thing is there is a The Baymonster, and he is better than me. That got me think and no, there is no The Gaymonster... yet.)
XLTSG: Okay, Mr. Baymont, what is the problem? (I thought maybe after the above discussion she would pick up on my real name, but no).
Me: Well, I have had a real hard time with lag on Halo 3. I get kicked out in the middle of games sometimes for 5 minutes at a time and sometimes completely. I upgraded my internet speed to 20 mbps and it hasn't helped, are there any settings that could be effecting this?
XLTSG: Oh, Sir, you need to have at least a 256k high speed internet connection to play on Xbox Live.
Me: Yeah, I know its cable. It's 20 megabits. It should be fast enough.
XLTSG: No, it needs to be high speed.
Me: 20 mbps is high speed.
XLTSG: No, Mr. Baymont, high speed is anything faster thant 256k.
(You can see, based on the early back-and-forth, how well this one went).
Basically, she put me on hold 4 or 5 times as she talked to her supervisor and she came back and told me that my cable modem (not my router, or switch) was not compatible. I asked how I could find a cable modem that works and she said on the website, but there was no mention of compatible or incompatible cable modems.
Name: Benjam'n Hansen
Age: 23 DC84
If you could go out drinking with any 3 people, alive or dead, who would they be?
Benjamin Franklin, Cliffy B. and Olivia Munn.
Same question, replace drinking with playing video games:
Me, Fatal1ty, and the Ogres would make an unstoppable team in any game.
Halo 1, 2, or 3?
3>1>2
Preferred Halo 3 weapon?
The common misconception is that I prefer the sniper rifle but in reality IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER!!
Least favorite weapon?
The Brute Spiker. Why does a weapon with blades suck so much?
Preferred Halo 3 vehicle?
The brute chopper is pretty sweet but nothing beats the default Warthog.
Least favorite vehicle?
The Brute Prowler. It is an inferior knock-off of the Specter.
Best Halo memory?
It is hard to pick just one. I've had so many great ones. There was the time Dammer and I camped on the cliff side of the red base in blood gulch in an instant respawn CTF game with no vehicles and racked up over a hundred kills each with under five deaths playing with Saucy and the other nubblets over the Luther network. [Editor's note: Saucy less than nubblets.]
In the early days of Halo 2 assault you could go into “sudden death” indefinitely if you just held on to the bomb after time expired. Me, Squatting Bear, Dammer, and Space Monkey were tied 2-2 so we hid on top of the cloak tower in Zanzibar with the bomb with the intention to out wait our opponents. After a few hours it was getting late and we realized they weren't going to give up anytime soon. So we set a book on top of my controller so I would remain crouched and hidden from the enemy's view, then we went to sleep. In the morning the other players were still there but they didn't appear to be playing so we planted the bomb and won. The game lasted over 8 hours, so long the time didn't even show up on bungie.net. It was a glorious battle and we won.
Worst?
Playing instant respawn shotty no shield CTF. [Editor's Question: Does Josey take offense?]
What position of employment in Ramathorn's rocket factory would you be most suited for?
Lead Engineer, it would be annoying when the prototypes I would be working on mysteriously end up in Ramathorn's hands when I need them.
Who would you say people (a.k.a. KofC members) think is better in and out of bed , your sister or your mom? [Editor's Note: No Comment from LocoPollo, although recent assumptions would indicate that SB prefers LocoPollo's brother.]
What is your favorite beverage?
The original Mountain Dew Pitch Black, but since they don't make it anymore nothing tastes better than your sister's milk. [Editor's Note: LocoPollo added this question in response to the previous question.]
Would you consider purchasing shoes with velcro straps to alleviate how often they become untied? If not, why not and would you consider a laces/velcro hybrid? If so, what is the chance of Squatting Bear urinating on them while drunk?
No, junk always gets stuck on the velcro and a hybrid would have the same problems. Even if the problem of junk getting stuck on the velcro was somehow solved, they would undoubtedly be ruined when Squatting Bear takes his 3 AM leak.
Who do you hate more, non-republicans, anti-videogamers, catholics, Iowans, or dog-face CS chick and why?
Anti-video gamers because they ignore reason and facts, they use fallacy ridden arguments, and because I play and make video games for a living.
What size and type of TV do you play on?
46” 1080p Sharp Aquos LCD with a 4 ms response time. It supports 1080p through component video which is very nice. [Editor's Note: My TV identical to this one is current trucking it's way to my apartment.]
Every videogamer has a prized controller from their present or past, what is yours (include specifics including but not limited to size, weight, nickname, distinguishing markings, etc.)?
Salty. Salty is an original Xbox “big” or “duke” controller. I replaced the left joystick with a right joystick from another big controller and put salt colored with green chalk inside the gem.
What are your halo 3 strengths?
I pwn at everything. If you know how good I am you think I'm modest. I guess if I had to pick one thing it would be my illusive ability to stay alive through the most intense firefights. I have a knack for living.
Weaknesses?
I am a single being. I haven't completely perfected the shotgun yet. I win the vast majority of my shotty battles but I feel my ability with this gun could be closer to perfection.
Who would win in a battle of skills, Unky in chemistry or Josey in modeling?
It would be an evenly matched battle but I believe in the end they would team up to create a best selling male modeling grease. [Editor's Note: Ew.]
Seeing as both you and Tilla are red-heads, what is your estimated arrival of red hair losing it's recessivity and becoming a dominant gene? Does it give you any advantage in Halo play?
I estimate 9/9/2552. A guy with red hair will just skip the heating up phase because “He's on fire!”.
We always knew Unky was talented, either eating phallic shaped foods, or driving warthogs in the African Safari. But who knew that Unky once moonlite as a chemistry video personality and spokesperson.
After weeks of searching online for an adequate challenger, Unky just couldn't find anyone capable of battling Josey and himself in an Unky (warthog) war. With his precision driving and Josey's excellent gunmanship they were able to withstand any challengers.
I know it's hard to believe, KofC, but youtube does not lie. Whilst surfing the vastness of amateur videos and half-assed montages, I stumbled upon a video that will no doubt bring many to tears when they find out that their beloved hero is not all he has shown himself to be. The evidence does not lie. Look for yourself...
This video, however, has not tainted my allegiance to Master Chief. I urge you not to take this crucial blow too personally. It is obvious that whoever made this video is plotting to diminish the morale of the ranks of Halo fanatics. Keep your heads high gentlemen and continue to do what you do best, kick ass!
In a rare occurrence Squatting Bear (SB) spent late morning and early afternoon baking. Seeing SB doing something besides sleeping, playing poker or buying things is a once-in-a-lifetime moment, but seeing it happen before 3pm is downright unheard of.
Recently Squatting Bear was online playing Halo. I don't want to jinx it but does this meet that SB is changing his ways? Will he spend more time awake than asleep? Experts say this is unlikely as Squatting Bear needs more sleep than even regular bears.
One reliable sources says he was baking Special K bars, the official snack of KofC. Squatting Bear's recipe can be found here. But for an added kick, SB recommends adding 4 cups of Game Fuel to the mixture.
Note to Squatting Bear: Please send a zip lock bag full of your homemade treats to me (Daymonster) as soon as possible. Thank you in advance.
