Sunday, September 26, 2010

Fill in the caption

What is Warthog about to say?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Eastbound and Down: Season Dos

So I was checking Twins scores a second ago and something jumped out at me and caught my attention - an ad for the second season of Eastbound and Down. It brightened my day little to see it but I was surprised that MLB would embrace that show since it kind of makes fun of the sport.

But then I looked at the calendar and saw that along with the scores, Sep 26 was specially marked as Eastbound and Down day! I was already excited about the new season, but I never thought it had become very popular for the mainstream. Is Kenny Powers appearing in broadcast booths as a guest announcer or showing up on Sportscenter as well??

Another hilarious item, which Daymonster sent to me is this:

This is Marilyn Manson, not only without makeup, but dressed up as Kenny Powers. It's from the article here.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Warthog is a Hero!

Another fun weekend. Unky and Auntie Playboy made there way down for the Iowa/ISU game which the Hawks won convincingly, 35-7. Next up is @ #18 Arizona on Saturday night. It should be on at 9:30 CT on ESPN/ESPN 3 if the Knights are interested.

One of the highlights of the weekend (of which there were many) happened after a group of us got back from the bar. Warthog went out for a cigarette and as he was lighting up he saw a man sprinting by his house. The next thing he heard was a voice: "GET ON THE GROUND OR I'LL TAZE YOU, GET ON THE GROUND OR I'LL TAZE YOU!"

The cop (reserve officer, obv) was closing in (much faster than Hermann, but no where close to as fast as Reserve Office Johnson) and the drunkard veered off and fell flat on the grass next to my house. The following exchange ensued:

Cop to PD: "Got a runner, 500 Block Unky Street."
Warthog: "400."
Cop to PD: "Correction, 400 Block Unky Street."

If I were quicker w/ the tongue (GOD DAMN BREWERY!) I would've yelled, "GET OFF MY LAWN!"

It was hilarious and I wish everyone could have seen it. The only thing that would've made it more awesome is if Drunkard actually got tazed. I saw the red light emanating from the cop's tazer so he definitely wasn't fucking around. I wonder what the range is on that thing and I'm sure the Knights can help me out with that one. I'm guessing the cop was within 12 feet before Drunkard gave up (wise choice, sir.)

We've all had our exchanges with the Police, and it definitely felt good to be on this end of it.

So Knights, what were your weekend highlights?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Absolutely Nothing to Post About

Hey dudes,

As most of you know, I've relocated to Vienna, Austria instead of St. Paul. We never had a post about my wedding. I suppose I can put that together, but I'd also like to hear about it from Daymonster and Squatting Bear's point of view. Anyways, long story short, I got married on July 31 to an Austrian girl and am living here now.

The reason I say I have nothing to post about is because during the move over here I decided to leave my XBox at SB's house so I don't have any video game tales to write about. Of course I have my laptop, but I've never been a PC gamer. We have been looking at buying a used XBox or a Wii because we had a fun time playing Wii Fit games at a friend of Pablena's house.

Additionally, I don't have any new drinking stories. It's difficult to have a binge drinking adventure alone. I'll need to find some drinking partners over here before I can even think about putting together a great post like Unky Warthog's.

I'll let everyone know when I organize a return trip to the USA because I'll expect to have a gathering at the KofC clubhouse so I can see everybody. Otherwise, my door is always open for clan members who want to go on a Euro Trip. I also wanted to pimp my own blog, if you want to read about what's going on for me, check out

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Unkys go to Hawkeye Game, Become Wizards.

All the Unkys got together for a weekend in Iowa City. Playboy and Eternal (w/ Auntie Eternal) arrived late on Friday night and we were quick to start building our wizard stalves. The neighbors, Yeager and Auntie Yeager also met up before Warthog, Playboy, and Eternal headed down to the bars to sing Hey Jude--a favorite of the unks--at a karoake bar.

After that we ordered some pizza. I asked Playboy what he wanted for toppings, and he told me to "put ronis on it." Appalled, I looked at Playboy and shook my head. He was likely surprised by this as I usually LOVE ronis, but I hate the pepperoni pizza from Mesa. Well, it's just not as good as Gyro and Buffalo chkn.

All the unks (minus Yeager) were nearly gone by this point and so of course our plan to get up at 7am in the morning to tailgate did not materialize. Instead, we got up at 9, walked down to the stadium, and battled some bums who were trying to rip us off on ticket prices. Eternal eventually found a ticket on the ground and got in for free, and the other tickets were purchased a few minutes after gametime for about 60% of the previous asking price.

The game was a lot of fun. Hawkeyes won 37-7 and are well on their way to another BCS bowl (championship, perhaps?). Warthog suffered an injury (GOD DAMN BREWERY!) on the way home as he was crawling through the forest to avoid the pedestrian jam on the bridge. Fortunately, Auntie Eternal was able to sew shut the hole on his yellow shirt. After grabbing a bite to eat, we were on to Round 3 of drinking and Round 2 of Wizard Staff. Warthog achieved the elusive "Master Wizard" status by consuming 15 beers, but remembers little afterward. He did destroy Eternal's and Playboy's stalves before Auntie Warthog tricked him into going to bed.

Can't speak for the rest of the Unkys, but I had a fantastic time--glad everyone could make it. Hope to see the rest of you soon (plans for coming home, Pablito?).