DammerWillMoveHimself

I close on my house this Friday. Here's a tour.

Anyone have any moving suggestions?

DanaWillEatU finally exposed... not in the bad way.

Is it just me or does Dammer look a little protective.

BREAKING NEWS: Dammer dies of happiness

Six years after getting axed by Fox, Futurama is being resurrected on Comedy Central.

A spokesperson for 20th Century Fox Television confirms that the cable net has ordered 26 newepisodes of Matt Groening and David X. Cohen's late, great animated series to air beginning in 2010. The studio cites Futurama's "blockbuster" performance on DVD and in reruns on Comedy Central as the reason for its rebirth.

Hmmm... sound familiar?

"When we brought back Family Guy several years ago, everyone said that it was a once in a lifetime thing -- that canceled series stay canceled and cannot be revived," 20th Century Fox TV Chairmen Gary Newman and Dana Walden said in a joint statement. "But Futurama was another series that fans simply demanded we bring back, and we couldn’t have been happier when Matt and David agreed that there were many more stories yet to tell."

Adds Groening: "We’re thrilled Futurama is coming back. We now have only 25,766 episodes to make before we catch up with Bender and Fry in the year 3000."

Dammer, did you just pee your pants?

I Can't Drive 55

I had another run-in with authority today. Stupid speeding ticket on my way home, 73 in a 55, at least the guy knocked it down to a 65 so it doesn't go on my record. So that makes three in the last year, two in MN one in Iowa. Add that to the one I got on our way to Rochester to watch the third Blade movie, as well as to the one I got at 3:00 in the morning on my way to a Best Buy so I could sit outside in line and wait for a 360. So, right now I'm sitting at 5 speeding tickets and one stop sign violation. I'm curious, what's everyone else's driving history?

Sunday Afternoon Time-wasting

Man it's been a while, I almost forgot about how much fun it can be to post. In any case, I'm wondering how everyone's Christmas/New Years was. Mine was pretty dang good, hectic but good. I went to DanaWillEatU's Mom's in Sauk Centre for Christmas, back to Owatonna to work on that Friday, to my parent's place in Iowa for the weekend, back up to DanaWillEatU's mom's on Sunday, back to Owatonna on Monday, work for two days, up to DanaWillEatU's sister's house in Hutchinson Wednesday night for New Years, back to Owatonna Friday morning. Needless to say I'm tired of riding/driving.

I don't have an engagement to announce following the holidays, but it's been crossing the mind quite frequently now. One perk of that day coming is that I won't have all of DanaWillEatU's family checking her ring finger every time we come visit.

My New Years report is far less glamourous than last year (at least I didn't get kicked out of a club), although it was quite fun. I mixed Crown and Coke all night with DanaWillEatU's brother-in-laws and watched Superbad and Eagle Eye. We all probably know how entertaining Superbad is, but I'm curious as to whether any of you know how entertaining Eagle Eye is. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being not entertaining and 10 being Iowa beating up on South Carolina in the Outback Bowl, this rated a 3.2 for me. I think I've gotten more enjoyment out of a Patrick Dempsey chick flick than I did out of Eagle Eye.

Holy cow, the TV just told me that the Baltimore Ravens' Ed Reed has 5 career interceptions in 3 post-season games, that's pretty damn good. Too bad the game isn't all that entertaining and I've been watching Smokey and the Bandit for much of it instead. I never would have guessed that transporting Coors east of Texas back in 1977 would be considered bootlegging. Here are some other online tidbits I've come across as of late:

- Nothing worse than an out of control beaver

- A mildly intense video

- As if we didn't already know

- A buddy at bowling showed this service from Google to me a couple weeks ago, I've already used it when I was lost trying to find DanaWillEatU and I's hotel

I'm going to make another attempt at coming up to the cities for a weekend, potentially the 24th. Go Vikings!

Holiday Weekend

Not too much to talk about today, but I feel like I should write a couple things.

I jammed my right thumb on Tuesday and it was swollen and black and blue, so I was using my pointer finger for the buttons on the controller. It's finally getting better and I think I can go back to using my thumbs. Pretty exciting!

SB, you going to watch Survivor: Gabon this season? Starts on the 25th of Sept and on of the castaways is the defending world champion in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I played that game for about 34 seconds, the worst 50 bucks I have ever spent.

Other castaways include a dude named Ace Gordon, who, I can already tell, I am either going to love him or hate him. Everyone else is your standard Survivor contestants, couple African Americans, a couple old people, a couple gay people, all mostly from California and New England.

Yeah, I get out early today for the Holiday weekend so I better get back. Dammer you going to post an interview this weekend?

Happy Birthday DammerWillEatU

Don't really have much to say, except Happy Birthday. I just got done with being 23 about a month ago, so I can speak from experience when I say it's just like being 22 and 24. I hope you took today off, but still will at least tell us something interesting in the comments section.

For your birthday Dammer, you got to see the worst collapse I have ever seen the Twins have. They looked like the fuckin' Astros out there. Ouch.

I would be remissed if I didn't ask this question: Did SB and Josey really take a camping trip for two to Montana? Pablito please give details.

Monday Morning Notes

So it's Monday morning and I haven't posted much lately because I realized that no one really gives a shit about my insightful thoughts about, well, pretty much anything. But I am going to talk about some stuff I have been thinking about this weekend.

First, I want to establish the KofC video game swap system. I tried to pick up Gears of War the other day at Best Buy and they didn't have it. I think KofC members should list some of the games they have and we could mail them to each other to play for a bit. Even thought I know no one will ever do it (myself included) I thought it was worth a shot. Some one mail me GoW.

Here are the games I can think of off the top of my head. PSP and DS games not included.

Xbox 360
Halo 3
Rock Band
Rainbow Six Vegas 2
Assassins Creed
Call of Duty 4
Scene It

PS3
Warhawk
Tiger Woods 08
MLB The Show 08
Call of Duty 3

Wii
Mario Kart Wii
Super Smash Brothers Brawl
Mario vs Sonic Olympics
Harry Potter and the Something Something

Dark Knight
Good movie. Actually great movie. But not as great as everyone made it out to be. And I am not saying that because I want to be the "cool" guy that goes against the grain but I had a couple of issues with the plot. First and foremost [Spoilers Ahead!] Gordon's fake death. There is no way this could have planned or carried out, and if memory serves it doesn't really make any sense. There is no way any of that could have worked, nor would Gordon put all of his men and Dent in danger by doing that.

Also, the whole boat thing seems pretty out of character for the Joker, why wouldn't he have a timer set to midnight, everything else he did was perfectly planned but on this one he essentially didn't go along with the rules he set up. I won't buy the "he thought they would blow it up themselves", because then why would he bring the detonators. I have more on this but unless people want to discuss it in the comments I'll stop ruining the movie for people.

Minnesota Twins
First place. Fuck yeah! Hopefully it lasts but who knows, I would feel super confident about playing the Mariners if it was at the Dome, but I still think we can take the M's even out there in Seattle. Then to KC, hopefully they will be still so pissed at the Sox for throwing at Miguel Olivo's head (twice) that they will just roll over for the Twins this weekend. If Ozzie doesn't get at least a one game suspension for his actions yesterday I will be very surprised and pissed.

After the KC series the Twins have a pretty decent home stand before heading out on the road due to the RNC.

Liriano pitched well yesterday, obviously it's a huge upgrade over Livan, but I don't think he is going to be much over .500 this year. His velocity is down to low 90s and so is the speed on his slider. He still is way above average but don't expect a 2006 performance out of him. By this time his velocity should have been where it was pre-surgery if not higher.

With all that said, I'm pretty excited about the series right now, a lot can happen in the next two months but it's August and the Twins are in first. If anyone would have said that during Spring Training we would have laughed our asses off.

This Weekend
So Dammer, you coming up to MN? Is that still happening? Anybody doing anything fun? Should I come up to MN?

Quick Bit of News

This is more of an FYI for everyone, but I wanted to make sure it didn't get lost in the comments. In about a month or so I will be switching apartments. For those of you that have been to my place before, my new apartment is in the building across the street and to the right of mine, they're called "Westwood Apartments". DanaWillEatU moves in two weeks from now, and I'll have until two months from when I notify my current landpeoples (hopefully today) to move myself in also. It is apartment 202. SB, Josey, Pablito, Puyo, etc. are you guys around the 9th-10th of August? I've decided I need to come up.

Also, I bought Oregon Trail 5th Edition and am currently wagoning my way to the coast. It's nice to be able to play something on my comp when I'm watching the Twins beat the White Sox.

Fat Princess Controversy

I was going to write a synopsis of the controversy including my take on it, but I am feeling lazy. So here is a really short description of the game. Ready? Go!

Okay, so there is this game that is getting released on PSN and was revealed at E3 called Fat Princess. It's a 32 player game that pits two teams against each other. You try to rescue your princess from the opposing teams castle. Sounds easy right? WRONG! The other team goes out to the forest and gets cake from the magical cake tree to bring to the princess. The more cake she eats the fatter she gets and the harder it is to get her out of the enemy's castle.

Not surprisingly there is some rumblings on the interwebs. Mostly by these two blogs, Feminist Gamers and Shakesville.

Both the comment sections on those posts are closed but you can get a handful of responses back and forth that make for good comedy. Mostly men calling the women fat, the women calling the men stupid and so forth.

Kotaku, Joystiq and PS3 Fanboy have the stories too. The comments on those are only the men calling the women fat, oh, and ugly.

There is one sensible post in this whole cluster-fuck. And that is this one, steamknight. so sensible I even posted a comment. (It's awaiting moderation though).

I Finally Got Around to It

So remember a long time ago when I was asking for screenshots so that I could put together a line rider video? Well I finally got around to semi-finishing the damn thing. Apologies to Adeclipse and the Unkys, you didn't get into the video. I got too tired of collecting screenshots and editing. Tilla I forgot to put your name in the credits for capturing the Line Rider action with your computer, so I'll put it here and then you won't feel left out:

Tilla1234

For heightened viewing, try to put yourself back in the context of the blog's content about 5 months ago. Enjoy everyone!

BREAKING NEWS: Dammer CAN fit in Washing Machine

Looks like Loco was right. Dammer can fit inside a washing machine, though reports of him being sock gnome are still yet to be confirmed.

Call of Duty 4 Stats Breakdown

Here are the updated stats.  
Most of our k:d ratios are getting better.  However, Dammer seems to be struggling.  Perhaps it is hard to concentrate with a guilty conscience.  

Video Game Tattoos and New Halo Map

IMPORTANT: At 5pm CST, I will be migrating the website to kofcclan.blogspot.com. Update your bookmarks, homepage, business cards and anything else that has the old information on it.

There is a kind of a lot of news today so try to stay with me.

Video Game Tattoo:
Yesterday's post about the guy with the Halo Legendary tattoo got me thinking. What if he had received a tattoo with the images of his other favorite games. Would they be as cool if it were some other video game character instead of the Elite head and crossed swords?


While this tattoo isn't as cool as these ones, I did get a chance to talk to the man that got legendary tat and he agreed to answer some of my questions. He told me that he first considered getting a couple different games tattooed on his back and sometimes regrets his final decision. He was always a big fan of Pong so he considered the iconic Pong paddle and square ball.


He decided that a large vertical black line might not be recognizable as a video game character and could show through his white shirts. Thus making it look like he was always wearing a jersey numbered, 1.

He also considered his favorite game of all time. It's a rather new game but the programming is top notch, he has been playing it pretty much non-stop since the midnight release party.


That's right, he is a HUGE Dr. Daisy Pet Vet fan.

New Halo Map: Avalanche
They released the details and images of the second new map in the Legendary Map Pack. It will be released on April 15th (tax day! yay!) for 800 MS points. This is the same prices as the Heroic pack but let's hope it's better.

Like I predicted the second map, which was named Cottonball is now named Avalanche and is a remake of Sidewinder. They say it's more of a tribute to Sidewinder and not so much a remake and I think it's neither. It has a similar curved shape but that seems to be where the greatness that comes from the Halo 1 map ends. They have gotten rid of the tunnel system that connected the two bases, and there are no portals nor ladders.


According to Bungie they want to focus the fighting out into the open with vehicles. I never really used vehicles in Sidewinder, well, except for using the turret in the hog to slip through the gate where the overshield and cloak was. I really don't want to be forced to do anything in a map, that seems to take a way the creativity that Halo 1 was known for.

Anyway check out Bungie's write up of the new map and let me know what you guys think. I think Josey knows what I am talking about when I say I am not getting my hopes up.

OMGGH4DS:
Guitar Hero: On Tour for the DS was revealed today. Check out the link. There is a peripheral for the DS, I don't think you will be disappointed.

Dammer gets 50 bucks:
Dammer you did buy the HDDVD player for the Xbox didn't you? Did you get it at Best Buy or Circuit City? Well if you did, and if any other Knight did, you can get a $50 dollar giftcard from the retail stores if you can prove you bought it before the Microsoft called the format "dead".

COD4 Update for PS3 (No one cares? Oh okay.)
The COD4 update just came out for the PS3 version of the game, so I can finally see the improvements you guys have been playing with for a while.

Dammer's First Impressions of COD and Daymonster's Response

Dammer posted a long comment about his experience with COD4. I took his comment and posted it along with my response. Also at the bottom of the post is a couple links and a list of the COD4 perks.

Also, last night I woke up and saw that LP, SB and Dammer were online playing COD. I turned on the Xbox and stared playing multiplayer until their game was done. Will anyone be playing tonight? I might shorten up my drinking schedule if that's the case. I haven't had much problem with lag lately (knock on wood).

DWEU: First impression of the game: I have a lot to get used to. The first online match I played I spent the entire time dying 5 seconds after spawning and being bombarded by air support. I was trying to practice up in the single player campaign but LP and SB signed on when I barely got into it.

TD: Maybe Puyo and SB can tell me if I am wrong, but as soon as I hear "Enemy Air Support" I do two things, either a) get indoors or b) get away from the rest of my teammates/move. I think I have only been killed by air support two or three times since I started playing.

As for playing single player to help you with multiplayer. I think besides getting to learn some of the buttons in the game, the campaign won't help too much.

DWEU: I think I'll like the game more after I get used to not being able to take a shot or two and get back in cover. The last couple games I played I was getting better. Sometimes I swear I'm in cover, or I can almost guarantee that I turn the corner of a building, but then I get shot down and watching the opponent's camera it looks like I was just sitting out in the open. I also get hung up on doors a lot.

TD: The hardest thing for me to adjust to is that in Halo if someone runs by you you can just run after them right away and start shooting. In COD4 it's best to let them run by, shoot them when they get right in front of you and then move away.

As for thinking you get around corners, you could be getting shot through walls. If you are behind thin walls, boards or corrugated metal the bullets can go through them especially if they have a high powered gun and/or the deep impact perk.

DWEU: I also don't like how the jumping works out. It's kind of like a mix of Halo and Gears of War, some things you can jump on, some you fail to jump on because they're too high and then have to push A to climb up.....I'm definitely going to play through more single player and read up on the different weapons.

TD: I originally thought the same thing for jumping. But now I think it works okay because its like saying, you can jump up on this but this you can't so you have to put your gun down for a second to do it. It's more realistic and you are not jumping around like crazy.

DWEU: I'm on the "Harder" setting I think and the part in the TV studio during the first level took me FOREVER. I would walk in far enough to get the evildoers going and then pick a few off, then die by grenade. My arm was getting so tired from throwing grenades back. I have a problem too where I push the button to throw a grenade back before it shows on my screen, so I just huck one of my own and then die as the other explodes. Finally I just sat back in a room and picked them off for about five minutes, they kept coming back, so I hucked some nades and advanced into some other rooms with cover that I could get into before but never survive. This time I had more support but I had also already taken out some annoying bastards on the second floor walkway.

TD: One thing you have to remember is that when you see the grenade icon it just means you are close to it, it could kill or hurt you. If you see the icon that shows you how to throw it back, you are right over it and if you don't get away or throw it back you will die. If you hold RB while you just see the regular grenade icon you will throw your own and still could be hit by the enemies.

DWEU: All in all so far I would not say I'm super impressed, and the first couple of multiplayer sessions just simply put were not fun. It got better though, and I think it will continue to the more I play.

TD: I think once you get a decent weapon/scope, (I really like the red dot) you will find it more enjoyable. Learning the maps is important and can be really fun. I hope you keep playing it because I think we will find it more enjoyable in the long run and it's fun to have a couple games to play together.

Here a thread that has people talking about what guns/perks they use: Team Xbox COD Thread

Here is the List of Perks:
Perk Slot 1:
* Bomb Squad (detect placed C4 charges)
* C4 x 2* Claymore x 2- Master Gunnery Sergeant 1 (lvl 23)
* RPG-7 x 2
* Special Grenades x 3
* Frag x 3 - Colonel 1 (lvl 41)
* Bandolier (adds more ammo to your clip)- Captain 1 (lvl 32)

Perk Slot 2:
* Juggernaut (More Health)
* Sleight of hand (Reload quicker)-unlocked at Master sergeant (lvl20)
* Stopping power (More weapon damage)
* UAV Jammer (Jams enemy radar)unlocked at Sergeant lvl 11)
* Sonic Boom (Bigger explosions)
* Double Tap (increased rate of fire)-unlocked at 1st lieutenant (lvl29)
* Overkill (carry two primary weapons, no pistol)-unlocked at lieutenant colonel (lvl 38)

Perk Slot 3:
* Extreme conditioning (Sprint longer)
* Steady Aim (Steadier aiming)
* Last Stand (Shoot your pistol while dying)-unlocked at Corporal (lvl 8)
* Deep Impact (Better bullet penetration through walls)
* Dead Silence (Less noise when running)-unlocked at Brigadier general 1 (lvl 44)
* Iron Lungs (Hold breath longer when sniping)-unlocked at 2nd lieutenant (lvl 26)
* Eavesdrop (Allows you to listen in on enemy chat)-unlocked at Major (lvl 35)
* Martyrdom (While dying, player pulls a grenade)- unlocked at Gunnery sergeant 1 (lvl 17)

Wednesday's Untitled Post

So as many of you know, there is a new round of interviews that just started. This is very exciting for me because it usually means its a long post that I don't have to write. I am working on some questions for Squatting Bear right now, so email me any questions you want to ask him.

As for the mix up with the Dammer pic below, let me explain. I said to SB, "what should I do for Dammers pic on the new interview?"

SB: "Put him with an ice pick."

TD: "Why?"

SB: "Because LocoPollo and I put fruit in his room to try to make it stink and he came after me with an ice pick."

TD: "Jesus, why the fuck did you have an ice pick?"

SB: "To scrape up the fruit."

I though this response was somewhat weird, I mean you could use an ice pick to get the stuff out of the cracks I guess, but it didn't answer the question of why did you had an ice pick in your dorm to begin with. But I decided not to continue this conversation anymore and just make the picture.

And when Dammer was confused, I was really confused and decided to let them just sort it out. But now it makes perfect sense, and I no longer think Dammer is messed up and ACTUALLY wanted to kill SB. But he might have.

Last Night:
Last night might have been some of the best video gaming I have had since college. First SB and I played some good COD4 and have since pretty much fallen in love with it. Then SB had to go to a movie with Rose Bear, so I changed discs to Halo 3 with Tilla, Adeclipse, and two of Adeclipses friends (Dajuicee and MyBigDumbFace). We played 12 games and in those 12 games we had a record of 11 wins and 1 loss.

It was a fun time and here are a couple of memorable games.

Team BRs on Valhalla.
This game was memorable because I decided to not shoot at anyone the entire game. I had zero kills and 16 assists, 15 of them were wheelman. The other assist I think I bumped into an enemy while trying to splatter him. We won pretty easily and I only got lasered 4 or 5 times.

Team BRs on The Pit.
During this game I was on the phone and trying to have a conversation without getting owned too badly. My best tool of destruction was my grenades on this mad as I tried to hang back and huck them at people while my head was titled 90 degrees holding on to the phone. But the real story here is Adeclipse. He had 14 kills 7 assists and 0 deaths. We won pretty handily 50-22.

Team BRs on Last Resort.
This is just another ass kicking that Adeclipse had. This time he had only 1 death. I also did alright. But I think if we had the formula done, he would have a better rating.

Get to Know 'Em: Round 2 (DammerWillEatU)

After a few month hiatus we have grown apart. What better way to get to know the other members of our storied clan but to interview them with dumb and often pointless questions. Our first interviewee of the second round of interviews is DammerWillEatU. Let's see what he has to say.


Dammer it's good to have you here. How have you been?
I'm good Daymonster. It's great to be here and thanks for having me.

What is your favorite new map from the Heroic DLC?
Rats Nest, even though I haven't played it a whole lot compared to the other two, never seems to completely come together for me. I always feel like stuff is happening elsewhere, and by the time I get to the battle-site it's already over. Foundry is the exact opposite. While I don't do poorly on the map, I can't have fun. It always seems like I'm taking grenade shrapnel and I never feel safe. This leaves Standoff, which I like the most of the three. The biggest reason is that every time I play on the map it's a good time. There is enough BR to go around, and if you can team up in a warthog as I often try to do you can really decimate the other team....assuming you aren't playing people that actually know how to get you out of a warthog using grenades, guns, melees etc. and your gunner doesn't blow goats for quarters.

If you had to live in a Halo map (any not just Halo 3) which map would it be and why?
First off I'm an outdoorsy type of guy, and while I would love to say a Halo 1 map is where I want to live, the one with the most textured terrain and realistic sound was Sidewinder and I refuse to live in those conditions...(so why do I live in Minnesota then?). Battle Creek was a close second for detail, and would be a great place to host capture the flag paintball matches, it still feels like you're inside a box since it's so small with high cliff walls. Some of the city-scapes from Halo 2 (Headlong, Turf, Terminal) are slightly appealing, mainly Terminal and Headlong, but the urban environment just isn't my style. The blend of building and nature is what I'm going for, and also a sense of openness.
So I would have to say I would want to live at High Ground. There are trees and rocks, but also buildings with rooms. It has a huge missile launcher in the back to keep my enemies at bay, and a computer terminal so I can keep up with the blog. More importantly though it is directly accessible to a vast ocean, giving the openness I'm desiring. It also has great ambient sound, which I can't do without. For those of you wondering, Sanctuary from Halo 2 is my second choice. Third place goes to Halo 3's Guardian. If you make that place bigger with more to look at in the distance than fog then it jumps up one, maybe two places.

If you could change one thing about Halo 3 what would it be?
I actually have two things of equal annoyance. I don't like how long it takes between your shots with the Human sniper. So often I can't get my second shot off before they duck in cover. It isn't like the mechanics of the gun can't fire that fast, and my finger is definitely pulling the trigger. I also don't like the Carbine's lack of accuracy over distance. This is supposed to be on par with the BR, but when I shoot at some one's head from a medium distance with the damn thing I can see the shots encircling the head with only one hitting per like 4 or 5. That's not cool, especially when you can see their shield sparking.

What is your favorite thing to do to pass the time during work hours (KofC blog excluded, of course)?
I like to go to the Dilbert archive and read comics from the past week. I find that they are much more hilarious now that I work in a cube as a software programmer just like the title character. I also spend a lot of time browsing ESPN's Page 2. I know I'm not the first to say this, but for the love of god could they PLEASE fire Jemele Hill. Page 2 is for funny stories, not horrible ones.

If you could have any job in the world what would it be?I think it'd be cool to be a video game creative designer/producer. I don't wanna be the person that codes the graphics, textures, or animation because I don't have art background, game design background, and I wasn't a physics major. I wanna be the guy that has cool ideas, tests the game and says "know what makes me mad, that I can't climb to the top of this because of an invisible wall". This may sound crazy, but sometimes I dream in video game, where I'm a character accomplishing certain tasks, or fighting an onslaught of foes, or using sweet equipment that's never been thought of before (perhaps a 360 degree rotational gyroscope defense turret that fires blasts of molten lava?). I wake up and think "now that'd be a sweet game".

In 3 months who will be fatter you or The Daymonster? (Current Daymonster specs: 5'9" 215lbs)
Daymonster for sure. I'm currently 6' 0'' 198lbs and I joined the Fitness Center at work last week and I've already gone twice. I will be hitting up the elliptical many times throughout the winter and then as soon as spring hits and the weather gets warmer I'll be hitting the roads. I may volunteer with the local track team as well so that I have people to run with, but I'm pretty lazy so we'll see if that happens or not. [Editor's Note: Challenge?]

What would you do with a million dollars? Pay off my student loans, buy a new computer, buy a new car, buy a nice house, buy fishing supplies including a fishing boat, buy Charter Communications and immediately burn the company down (they can't be worth more than 200 grand can they?), let my parents renovate their house, give a lot to my brothers to pay for most of their college.

Why won't you let us meet your new girl friend. Is she ugly? She is very cute and not the least bit ugly. She actually just met my parents this last weekend. She also works at least one day of each weekend at the chocolate factory and makes it really hard for me to show her to friends. I'll keep trying though.

Find something on the interwebs you want SB to buy:
This.

Since you have a pirate as your emblem here is a question for you: You have five pirates, ranked from 5 to 1 in descending order. The top pirate has the right to propose how 100 gold coins should be divided among them. But the others get to vote on his plan, and if fewer than half agree with him, he gets killed. How should he allocate the gold in order to maximize his share but live to enjoy it?
35, 20, 17, 15, 13. Of course what this isn't taking into account is pirate nature. If rank 5 knew he'd be killed if they voted against him he'd kill them first. Since the gold is probably in his possession anyway he could take the money and run. Of course, 100 gold coins is hardly a pirates booty worth fighting over. You can keep that amount is a small leather pouch. What's to say the other's even know of its existence? The last thing to think about is that he's probably safe the way it is regardless of what he does. The small man on the totem poll has the most say in the long run. If #4 doesn't like what he's getting he can vote no. Since it makes sense for the #1 to always vote no, that leaves #2 or #3 to join in at which point #5 is killed and it defaults to #4 deciding the breakdown. Repeat the process and you'll see that the others are almost hamstrung into voting yes lest they risk becoming the leader and immediately getting voted down and killed.

Since you know Tilla and he is getting married her is ANOTHER question for you: Every man in a village of 100 married couples has cheated on his wife.Every wife in the village instantly knows when a man other than her husband has cheated, but does not know when her own husband has. The village has a law that does not allow for adultery. Any wife who can prove that her husband is unfaithful must kill him that very day. The women of the village would never disobey this law. One day, the queen of the village visits and announces that at least one husband has been unfaithful. What happens?
The women kill the Queen for stating the obvious. If she knows, then they all know, and since she announced it she was probably the woman who the man slept with. If it was only one husband that was unfaithful then the wife wouldn't know it, the announcement would be new news, and she'd kill her husband. If it was more than one husband they could all just sit down and chart out the time of day at which they received their ESP message about a cheating husband. If you didn't get the memo at the time you should have then you can kill your husband. The women then have a huge lesbian orgy, videotape it, put it on pornTube for Josey to download and recommend to other porn aficionados, not excluding Rose Bear. Unky Warthog alas cannot view it because of its far too explicit content.

That's it. Please comment on how wrong he got the last couple answers and anything else you want to know about the elusive "super hot girl that works at a chocolate factory."

Monday Morning Randomness

So on Friday night I went to this bar called "The Store" after we had about 12 pitchers of Sangria at this restaurant down the street. When we got to the bar I immediately noticed one of my favorite things... Arcade Basketball. It was your standard Super Shot machine with moving back board (although the one pictured is a three-across model and the one at the bar was just your standard single shot) and I just so happened to have 18 one dollar bills in my pocket, due to the good people at McDonald's not having any fives or tens.

I first challenged this one girl to a game and I obviously crushed her. As we were planning our rematch a guy and a girl came up and asked us if they could play after us. I told them that we could make a friendly wager and which ever team scored the least amount of combined points had to buy the winning team drinks. The two agreed but not before the guy switched his girlfriend for another guy and we played alternating turns. This continued on for about 6 more teams of two as a large crowd gathered around the Super Shot.

We finally lost to this small guy decked out in New England Pats gear that threw up a impressive 65 pts. Besting my nights best by 6. We were heart broken as I came back from the bar with two bottles of Coors Light (I made it look like a bought them, but I had a few left from the bounty I had already won) I got back in line to take on the team that had now won two in a row. After a good 10 minutes I was back up to challenge the same reigning champs that beat us. Just as I am putting in my dollar in the machine. I hear someone say "AJ is next."

Fuck that, who is AJ? I turn around and it's AJ Pierzynski offering $20 bucks to play the next game of Super Shot. No way am I letting this happen. So I told him that he can wait in line like all of us and that the integrity of the game can't be bought. I used the term duesch-bag somewhere in there but I can't remember exactly when or in what context. He walked away and started talking to some older blond chick at the bar. But not before I got a couple pics of him.

Here is the one from my cell phone. I am not sure why he wouldn't pose for me. It's obviously not very good but you get the idea. I have another from a friends camera but I am waiting for her to email it to me. Update to follow.

Anyways, in other news, I know that the talk on the Formula have stalled a bit as of late and hopefully I will have the finalized formula by the end of the day today to give Dammer. But I also came across a couple things that might help. First off there is a new site called Halo API, supposedly it makes it really easy to get all the statistics from Bungie. Dammer, you might have already got that figured out but if this was easier I thought you should know about it. Using Halo API, this guy made this pretty easy app to get your simple career stats.

As some of you are no doubt aware, LOST starts up again in a few days and I am getting pretty excited. I specifically avoided Thursday night classes because of this show. For those of you who are planning on watching it I recommend reading up on some of the characters for a refresher. Here are some of the pages. Kate Austen, Jin-Soo Kwon, Juliet Burke, Hugo "Hurley" Reyes, Claire Littleton, Desmond Hume, Benjamin Linus, Michael Dawson and Sun Kwon.

Nintendo DS should have it's own Guitar Hero game by June. The much rumored video game is expected to be released sometime this summer. Guitar Hero: On Tour (clever) is also rumored to have some sort of peripheral. We'll see if it's sweet and hopefully won't go the way of Halo DS.

Not So-Happy Holidays

So it's getting close to the highly anticipated holiday break and usually I would be excited to get 12 days off of work and would be even more excited to get 17 days off of the next 20 days. But to be honest I am not as excited as I should be for one reason and one reason alone. These next 20 days will be almost completely devoid of Halo and in turn, the Knights of Cydonia. I wanted to play last night but no one was on (except Adeclipse, but my connection was so terrible I didn't want to subject him to it).

I'll either be at my girlfriends house, in Mexico or in the Bahamas for 99% of the next three weeks. I do plan on bringing my Xbox to Anna's house but I don't think I'll be able to get online. It's use will mostly be her brother and us rocking out in front of her grandparents with Rock Band.

Anyways, I want to know what all you KofC members are doing for the holidays and what you hope to get from Santa Clause?

Also, last night I made the beginnings of a pretty sweet Foundry map/arena. It's essentially what I think Grifball is like (which I haven't actually played or seen) but I added some levels that could make it fun. I wanted to take pictures of it and post them but as what normally happens after a few drinks, I forgot.

Here are three poorly drawn images to give you an idea of what it's like: 1, 2, and 3. It's basically a rectangle arena with the bases completely blocked off and two goals on each side. The walls of the arena have catwalks accessible by stairs at each corner and then the cat walks connect to each other down what would be the mid-line at about 30 feet up. Right in the middle of that catwalk is where the ball spawns so it's a race to the top at the start of each round and after each goal.

Everyone spawns with Grav Hammers and you have 150% speed. Once you control the ball you turn white so you can tell who controls the ball as all other indicators are turned off. The ball carrier has a slightly increased speed. I think this is very similar to Grifball but I think with the addition of the catwalks and ramps it could be fun. I have another idea of possibly raising the goals on the ends as so you have to go up to score either by catwalk or man cannon. Let me know what you guys think. If we can make it different enough I saw we call it KofCcer? I don't know.

Anyways there isn't too much to talk about but I thought I would share a couple of things I have seen today, on what has been the most boring week of work of my life.

Stupid Halo Cartoon of the Day

This video is pretty funny and it features a bunch of stuff I like. Rock Band, Paul Rudd, Darryl from the Office, and Jonah Hill from Super Bad. Check it out.

I don't know if any of you have heard of Brotherhood 2.0 but it's really pretty cool. So these two brothers one lives in Montana and the other in New York and they decided they would not communicate by text for the next year. This was back on January 1st 2007 so they alternate posting video blogs to each other about shit workday of the year. It sounds like it could be lame but it's actually really entertaining. I started watching about a month or 2 ago, but i since have gone back to the first video and have watched everyone. I am now in to June. It's pretty crazy that I have seen these two guy's life for about 5 months, all in two days.

Dammer is working on the Java Performance Calculator App for the website and I am sincerely looking forward to that being completed. He also sent me three articles to post. A whale one, a computing one and a BitTorrent one. Through Dammer's email I have learned a lot, I learned about the Whale, Quantum computing and lawsuits, but mostly I learned that Dammer only gets his news through BBC, and thus is un-American. But better informed.

Not really sure if there is anything else to talk about. If I don't talk to you before tomorrow have a good Holiday break and I'll probably see you online in 2008.

Knights of Cydonia: Get to Know 'Em (DammerWillEatU)

This is the final instalment of the first round of KofC interviews. I am sure we will have another round so everyone put your thinking caps on and think of a new line of standard questions. The interview with Dammer has a lot of inside jokes which I do not currently understand but hopefully this weekend they can be explained to me or recreated. On that note on to the interview...

Name: Jeff Hellman

Age: 22

If you could go out drinking with any 3 people, alive or dead, who would they be? The Luther College Drinking Team (LCDT - there is no I in team so we count as one entity), Andre the Giant, Alberto Salazar

Same question, replace drinking with video games: My 3 brothers. Simple Mario Partys turn into brawls, FPS games turn into shouting matches, my brother Mike is bad at vids and gets all whiny and quits, my brother Ben is better than me and it pisses me off. Surprisingly RPG is the only type that we can peacefully play at once. [Editor's Note: Three dudes playing RPGs is gay]

Halo 1, 2, or 3? It depends. If I'm looking for a game where the difference between horrible and good is the biggest I would choose Halo 1. One pistol, one spawn camp, three shots, one dead nubblet. If I'm looking for a game where there is excellent balance and even the best of players can get owned (most often by a nub with a mauler) then I want Halo 3. The thing I like best about Halo 3 is the variety of ways you can kill someone, and the variety of places to kill them from. That and it has matchmaking. If I had to choose right now what I wanna play I would choose Halo 3. Nostalgia, however, insists that I play a prolonged session of Halo 1 a couple of times each year. Notice Halo 2 didn't crop up in this discussion.

Preferred Halo 3 weapon? Battle Rifle. If the flamethrower didn't inevitably kill you it would be sweet.

Least favorite weapon? Plasma Pistol.

Preferred Halo 3 vehicle? Warthog, with the mongoose a close second. The bad thing about the mongoose is that I'm always so tempted to just drive instead of engage battle.
Least favorite vehicle? Brute Chopper because every time I use it I fail. That being said, a game of Demo with Brute Choppers would rock.

Greatest Halo memory? There really are too many to count. I think most of the ones that stand out to me have already been mentioned in Pollo's and SB's interviews. A personal favorite of mine is getting third behind SB/Pollo and the Cupids at a MegaLAN Halo 2 tourney, with nothing but myself and the worst Halo player ever as a teammate. You know you're in for a hard time when your teammate doesn't shoot and just throws grenades with the hope of getting someone before he dies.

Worst? Every time I wanted to play by myself and Cody (see player mentioned above) joined so I couldn't play ranked and I had to be on what was inevitably a losing team.

What is your favorite beverage? If I'm drinking with lots of people a couple red beers for taste and then a lot of 'Stones or Coors Lights to get drunk off of. If I'm drinking on a weeknight with just Pete, Sunset Blush. If I'm drinking on a Monday it's the Hawk. Seriously though, a cold Coors Light handed to me by a member of the LCDT, regardless of whether it's in or out of a boot.

What is your best drinking accomplishment? Individually sub-5:00 club. Teamwise, 5 guys, 5 sub-5:00's to come through in the clutch and close out Beerfest.

What size and type of TV do you play on? 46 inch Sharp Aquos. The same as Puyo's. One dead pixel in the left black sidebar of a 4:3 display. [Editor's Note: I have a dead pixel, and it accounts for at least one death every game, I am sure of it.]

What are your halo 3 strengths? My recent play has suggested I am learning to have a better K/D. Of course, with Daymonster in team doubles racking up the assists it helps. My overall strength I think is finding nubs and defeating them royally. If you look at games where we play horrible players I tend to lead. If you look at games where we play good players I'm middle of the pack.

Weaknesses? I'm learning to get out of this one, but I charge more than I should and I don't think through my grenades. I tend to throw two right after another in the same spot instead of anticipating where the enemy is moving to avoid the first throw.

Now that you are dating someone where you work what "Office couple" are you most like. Pam and Jim, Dwight and Angela, or Oscar and his boyfriend? Pam and Jim, only she has the same job as me so she has the same salary (unless my company doesn't pay women as much).

When can the Knights meet your new girlfriend? As soon as she's around when they visit me or I visit them. Last time I was with the Knights she wasn't considered my girlfriend. I offered the Poison concert but she has plans....which sucks cause now no one will take care of me when I'm blitzed off of free drinks. [Editor's Note: Rando Poison Fan Chick?]

Are you going to follow fellow KofC member Tilla and play house? Are you asking if I'm going to buy a house? Get married? Literally play house like a 4 year old? To all of the above: not in the immediate future.

Why do you look like such a wiener? Why do they still have this picture up?

How was it living with Josey for two years? It shoulda been more. Sophomore year took a turn for the worse and split us up, but we learned from it and became stronger friends. The trial run where Josey basically lived in my room J-Term junior year (the best month of life ever) solidified that we coulda co-existed. (speaking of why has nobody else mentioned that J-Term on this blog yet?) In the end I roomed with the horrible Halo player mentioned above and I have far more complaints about that than I ever will about Josey.

Do you think Squatting Bear has recently hid any fruit in your room? Probably. I'd rather have fruit than a bowl of shit though any day of the week.

Follow up question, if he did, how would you retaliate? Past history says I would probably take a Fosters and pour it all over his floor in a fit of drunken rage (I'm good for one of those every year), then take a sidewalk ice scraper, threaten him and then use it on myself causing a huge bruise on my quad. Following this I would calm down and drink more.

What is the best part about living in Owatonna? Proximity to everything. I'm 2 hours from home, an hour from Josey, SB, and Pollo, 2 hours from Luther (debatable about whether that's good or not).

How does it feel to be a victim of Asian rape chick? I go to my survivor meetings so it doesn’t feel as bad as it used to.

Please explain your legendary nasty farts: After drinking beer, my stomach exudes pure horribleness.

Favorite King's Cup Moment? Every time Dave was accused of playing guitar for girls. Close second, Josey refusing to say “Big Guy’s gay” after every sentence as dictated by the rule master.

Nel or Kay? To pwn? Kay by far. To eliminate from existence? Kay.