The Gamblers they broke even...

We're out. One Unky is off to Iowa City and another Unky is headed to Rochester. This summer has included parties at the Clubhouse, Twins games, birthdays, karoake , and KofC weddings. Awesome summer.

Share your highlights in the comments!

Let's get some more posts!

Welcome to the Cities Unkys (or Unkies)

Welcome to the Twins Cities Metro Area. It's going to be good having you guys around.

So, SB, Pablito and I were discussing things we wanted to do this summer.

1. Halo 1 LAN

2. KofC Clubhouse Party

3. 1 & 2 together probably.

4. KofC Paintball outing

5. Trip to Cedar Point in Ohio.

6. Renting the Flowrider at the Waterpark of America.

Any more ideas, or vote for your favorite and a good date for it in the comments.

Winner: Unky Warthog

Warthog won the 5 blog points because it just happens to be the only one where I wouldn't have to move the bubbles around. Warthog and SB should be on the road now, so hopefully they will give us an update on their way to Vegas. I'm guessing not.

Unkys Graduate, Their Lives are Over.

Photo caption contest. What are the Unkys saying? Best answer gets 100 blog points.

Happy Birthday Eternal and Other News

Happy Birthday Unky Eternal.

News from the Monster

After a terrible night watching the Twins season end. I have some things I want to talk to the KofC about. It's been a while since a real post and I can't say that this one will be that well written, but some of it should be interesting.

I am not exactly sure when it is, but I think it's exactly our one year anniversary. Halo 3 came out on September 25th, 2007 and it looks the first post was on Oct 1st, 2007. So to all Happy Anniversary. A lot has happened in the last year.

- Some clan members got married. (Can't find link... but it was Tilla)

- Some clan members "betrayed" the clan.

- We almost got sued.

- We talked about assists and efficiency formulas.

- We added several new members: Unky Warthog, Unky Playboy, Unky Eternal, Adeclipse, DJ Maestro, McHolla and Shoes McGee.

There is probably more than that, that has happened, but oh well.



UPDATE: Not-so-Bad News:
Squatting Bear's mom told my mom that Squatting Bear would be televised on ESPN2. I stayed up the whole time watching and I never saw him. I wasn't paying enough attention to see him in the background or something but I was paying fairly close attention to the others at the table.

SB, what gives? Were you on there? Who was at your table on day 3?

Nevermind... I found it.

Go to 6:43. Look to Phil's left.

Knights of Cydonia Comic Strip and Birthday Wishes

This is the first installment of a series of comic strips, where squatting Bear is trying to see if Dammer's Girlfriend exists. Along the way he meets some hilarious characters. It will keep you on the edge of your seat.


I want to apologize for some of these jokes as they are starting to get really old, but I really couldn't think of anything else. Enjoy.

Click here to see the first comic strip.

Also, I meant to say this earlier but from all of us at the Knights of Cydonia I want to say...

Happy 21st Birthday to Unky Eternal

Buy yourself a shot and next time I see you I will pay you for it. Or I'll just buy you a shot next time I see you. Your call. Also, you MUST post a recap of the night, including pictures.

Booze: the KofC's Official Beverage Recommendation

By DammerWillEatU

Seeing as I'm bored at work I think it's time to revisit the clan's health as the holidays arrive and you come into contact with some possibly very disgusting and sickly relatives. As you may remember, a while back we discussed on these very pages the merits of adding the intake of a multi-vitamin to your routine. This may boost the immune system, but what about those quick fixes we sometimes need to clean out the system or provide an instant feel-good moment? Some of you (UnkyDubhawg) may mock what I'm about to present to you, but rest assured most of you will probably agree.

Beer, beer the magical food, the more you drink the more you...die? As Lee Corso would say, "Not so fast my friend!". I've always been a proponent of the healing powers of alcohol, but it is beginning to look like the rest of the world is jumping on the body-building booze bandwagon, and with alliteration like that who wouldn't be!? Seriously though folks, we've all witnessed the amazing and various powers of booze. It's been known to increase speed, strength, intelligence, and even looks.

Look deep into the recesses of your booze-soaked brain and think about some of your greatest drinking accomplishments. Have you ever grinded on a chick at the local club before? Not sober! Have you ever thrown booze bottles onto the street? They go a lot farther when you're blitzed don't they. Who here plays Halo? Oh you all do? Ok then you all know about the "perfect Halo state", that magical place where your BAC is just right and you focus so intently on playing that every decision you make and every shot you take...is just right for the situation.

Now I've run many miles in my life, and I can tell you that if I'm in a short sprint contest, I want to be drunk. Have you ever felt faster than when you're sloshed? Personal experience of running back to my dorm from the bar late on a Saturday night tells me that SB is the fastest man alive.......when drunk. Sprinting is not the only way to run that benefits from booze though, endurance is also greatly increased if you're going slow enough. My Sunday long runs with the cross country team sucked regardless of whether I was sober or not, but at least if I was still drunk I didn't feel the first 5 miles. And sometimes I was even drunk enough that I couldn't get out of bed to go (chalk one up for getting the recommended amount of sleep). I can think of a certain clan member (Unky Eternal) that has no problem going on long drunken excursions, much like this fellow. How tiring would that have been sober? Plus, who here has had a drink or two to get over a hangover? Yeah that's right, IB Profin and alcohol, a hangover's worst enemy...or is it this? (my personal thinking is that if you combined that with a multivitamin you would have a cure for almost any ailment)

Enough about the magical powers though, what about the health benefits I first mentioned? Well obviously if you're running faster and longer you will increase your physical health. If you're grinding on chicks you will have a greater chance of contributing to healthier relationships with the opposite sex (not necessarily the same sex however), thus resulting in a more complete and healthy mental disposition. Now thanks to a new study, you should also know that beers defined as a stout, not a lager, work to decrease your chance of having a heart attack by reducing your bloods ability to clot. Unfortunately for us, the KofC drinks heavily of the latter. This isn't all that discouraging however, considering that the KofC's top beers of choice (Coors, Busch, Keystone) placed well in a recent Consumer Report study. Some of us at the KofC do enjoy a nice glass of red wine anyway, whos health benefits have been proven time and time again.

What is the bottom line here folks? It's quite simple. DRINK YOUR BOOZE! And don't worry about those folks that say you're killing your brain cells. There's proof that they come back anyway, and at the rates they're talking it may be best to live the rollercoaster lifestyle the KofC is known for.