Get to Know 'Em: Round 2 (DammerWillEatU)

After a few month hiatus we have grown apart. What better way to get to know the other members of our storied clan but to interview them with dumb and often pointless questions. Our first interviewee of the second round of interviews is DammerWillEatU. Let's see what he has to say.


Dammer it's good to have you here. How have you been?
I'm good Daymonster. It's great to be here and thanks for having me.

What is your favorite new map from the Heroic DLC?
Rats Nest, even though I haven't played it a whole lot compared to the other two, never seems to completely come together for me. I always feel like stuff is happening elsewhere, and by the time I get to the battle-site it's already over. Foundry is the exact opposite. While I don't do poorly on the map, I can't have fun. It always seems like I'm taking grenade shrapnel and I never feel safe. This leaves Standoff, which I like the most of the three. The biggest reason is that every time I play on the map it's a good time. There is enough BR to go around, and if you can team up in a warthog as I often try to do you can really decimate the other team....assuming you aren't playing people that actually know how to get you out of a warthog using grenades, guns, melees etc. and your gunner doesn't blow goats for quarters.

If you had to live in a Halo map (any not just Halo 3) which map would it be and why?
First off I'm an outdoorsy type of guy, and while I would love to say a Halo 1 map is where I want to live, the one with the most textured terrain and realistic sound was Sidewinder and I refuse to live in those conditions...(so why do I live in Minnesota then?). Battle Creek was a close second for detail, and would be a great place to host capture the flag paintball matches, it still feels like you're inside a box since it's so small with high cliff walls. Some of the city-scapes from Halo 2 (Headlong, Turf, Terminal) are slightly appealing, mainly Terminal and Headlong, but the urban environment just isn't my style. The blend of building and nature is what I'm going for, and also a sense of openness.
So I would have to say I would want to live at High Ground. There are trees and rocks, but also buildings with rooms. It has a huge missile launcher in the back to keep my enemies at bay, and a computer terminal so I can keep up with the blog. More importantly though it is directly accessible to a vast ocean, giving the openness I'm desiring. It also has great ambient sound, which I can't do without. For those of you wondering, Sanctuary from Halo 2 is my second choice. Third place goes to Halo 3's Guardian. If you make that place bigger with more to look at in the distance than fog then it jumps up one, maybe two places.

If you could change one thing about Halo 3 what would it be?
I actually have two things of equal annoyance. I don't like how long it takes between your shots with the Human sniper. So often I can't get my second shot off before they duck in cover. It isn't like the mechanics of the gun can't fire that fast, and my finger is definitely pulling the trigger. I also don't like the Carbine's lack of accuracy over distance. This is supposed to be on par with the BR, but when I shoot at some one's head from a medium distance with the damn thing I can see the shots encircling the head with only one hitting per like 4 or 5. That's not cool, especially when you can see their shield sparking.

What is your favorite thing to do to pass the time during work hours (KofC blog excluded, of course)?
I like to go to the Dilbert archive and read comics from the past week. I find that they are much more hilarious now that I work in a cube as a software programmer just like the title character. I also spend a lot of time browsing ESPN's Page 2. I know I'm not the first to say this, but for the love of god could they PLEASE fire Jemele Hill. Page 2 is for funny stories, not horrible ones.

If you could have any job in the world what would it be?I think it'd be cool to be a video game creative designer/producer. I don't wanna be the person that codes the graphics, textures, or animation because I don't have art background, game design background, and I wasn't a physics major. I wanna be the guy that has cool ideas, tests the game and says "know what makes me mad, that I can't climb to the top of this because of an invisible wall". This may sound crazy, but sometimes I dream in video game, where I'm a character accomplishing certain tasks, or fighting an onslaught of foes, or using sweet equipment that's never been thought of before (perhaps a 360 degree rotational gyroscope defense turret that fires blasts of molten lava?). I wake up and think "now that'd be a sweet game".

In 3 months who will be fatter you or The Daymonster? (Current Daymonster specs: 5'9" 215lbs)
Daymonster for sure. I'm currently 6' 0'' 198lbs and I joined the Fitness Center at work last week and I've already gone twice. I will be hitting up the elliptical many times throughout the winter and then as soon as spring hits and the weather gets warmer I'll be hitting the roads. I may volunteer with the local track team as well so that I have people to run with, but I'm pretty lazy so we'll see if that happens or not. [Editor's Note: Challenge?]

What would you do with a million dollars? Pay off my student loans, buy a new computer, buy a new car, buy a nice house, buy fishing supplies including a fishing boat, buy Charter Communications and immediately burn the company down (they can't be worth more than 200 grand can they?), let my parents renovate their house, give a lot to my brothers to pay for most of their college.

Why won't you let us meet your new girl friend. Is she ugly? She is very cute and not the least bit ugly. She actually just met my parents this last weekend. She also works at least one day of each weekend at the chocolate factory and makes it really hard for me to show her to friends. I'll keep trying though.

Find something on the interwebs you want SB to buy:
This.

Since you have a pirate as your emblem here is a question for you: You have five pirates, ranked from 5 to 1 in descending order. The top pirate has the right to propose how 100 gold coins should be divided among them. But the others get to vote on his plan, and if fewer than half agree with him, he gets killed. How should he allocate the gold in order to maximize his share but live to enjoy it?
35, 20, 17, 15, 13. Of course what this isn't taking into account is pirate nature. If rank 5 knew he'd be killed if they voted against him he'd kill them first. Since the gold is probably in his possession anyway he could take the money and run. Of course, 100 gold coins is hardly a pirates booty worth fighting over. You can keep that amount is a small leather pouch. What's to say the other's even know of its existence? The last thing to think about is that he's probably safe the way it is regardless of what he does. The small man on the totem poll has the most say in the long run. If #4 doesn't like what he's getting he can vote no. Since it makes sense for the #1 to always vote no, that leaves #2 or #3 to join in at which point #5 is killed and it defaults to #4 deciding the breakdown. Repeat the process and you'll see that the others are almost hamstrung into voting yes lest they risk becoming the leader and immediately getting voted down and killed.

Since you know Tilla and he is getting married her is ANOTHER question for you: Every man in a village of 100 married couples has cheated on his wife.Every wife in the village instantly knows when a man other than her husband has cheated, but does not know when her own husband has. The village has a law that does not allow for adultery. Any wife who can prove that her husband is unfaithful must kill him that very day. The women of the village would never disobey this law. One day, the queen of the village visits and announces that at least one husband has been unfaithful. What happens?
The women kill the Queen for stating the obvious. If she knows, then they all know, and since she announced it she was probably the woman who the man slept with. If it was only one husband that was unfaithful then the wife wouldn't know it, the announcement would be new news, and she'd kill her husband. If it was more than one husband they could all just sit down and chart out the time of day at which they received their ESP message about a cheating husband. If you didn't get the memo at the time you should have then you can kill your husband. The women then have a huge lesbian orgy, videotape it, put it on pornTube for Josey to download and recommend to other porn aficionados, not excluding Rose Bear. Unky Warthog alas cannot view it because of its far too explicit content.

That's it. Please comment on how wrong he got the last couple answers and anything else you want to know about the elusive "super hot girl that works at a chocolate factory."