KofC Waterslide Fun Time Plans

I was thinking, we should really plan a sweet trip. Where should we go? Australia? Brazil? Nauru? But those places are all very expensive to get to. So I figured it out and there is one place that is better than all of these exotic locations and is in the geographical center of where the majority of us live (Sorry Adeclipes).

Where is this magical place you ask? Well it is Wisconsin Dells of course.

Here is what I am thinking. We go to Noah's Ark on Saturday June 14th and then stay at the Raintree Resort across the street from Noah's Ark that night. The next day we take in some high speed Go-Karts and maybe an haunted house. And then after we are all tuckered out we go back to our lives with memories that will last a life time.

For those of you who aren't familiar I will give you some information on the best rides Noah has to offer.

Time Warp – Billed as the world's largest bowl ride. It's a pitch black descent in 4 person tube and then goes into a strobe light filled bowl where you swoosh around until you drop through the middle, just as the next group of 4 comes flying down. The initial drop is the best but the whole thing is entertaining.

Black Anaconda – Billed as the longest water coaster in the United States at over 1/4 of a mile long. It's pretty fun, my sisters and brother-in-laws liked it a lot. You go over 30 mph at one point and you go up and down the slide powered by water jets. I am not a huge fan of water coasters though, I like gravity to do the work. Josey and SB, it's kind of like the beginning of the tube rides that shoot you up and down on the way to the lazy river.

Sting Ray – This ride is the most under rated in my opinion. It consists of two large halfpipes about 5 stories tall and who go down in tubes of 1 or 2. The initial drop is the best part as you go almost vertical back and forth until you slow down at the bottom of the halfpipe. Since there are 2 of them and it's fairly quick the lines goes fast.

Point Of No Return – Two 10-story-tall speedslides that take riders three to five seconds to descend. This is your classic speed slide, but the tallest I have ever ridden. You go over 40 mph. JW and SB, it's like the abyss but taller, but also not dark. It has timers at the end so I can continue my domination over you.

Congo Bongo – Large 4 person raft ride, that wouldn't be fun except that you often try to flip the raft on the turns.

Big Kahuna – Large wave pool, one of the largest wave pools in Wisconsin Dells. Always a good time to knock each other of rafts in 10 ft waves.

Adventure River – Not to be confused with the "Endless River" this one features waterfalls and rapids but not as cool as the one at Atlantis unfortunately.

The Plunge – One of my favorites for sure, two side-by-side speed slides with a couple bumps. But on these you go down head first on like a rubber tobaggon thing.

Paradise Lagoon – An activity pool featuring slides and zip-lines. It doesn't sound that cool, but there are several raft crossing areas where you can dominate little kids and water slides that drop you a few feet above the water. It's also fun to watch people fall off the zip-lines on their faces.

Miniature Golf – Miniature golf course that is included in the price of admission.

There are of course dozens of other slides, bumper boats, a ride similar to the Wave at Valley Fair and of course a bunch of Arcades.

I think we should leave MN/Chicago early in the morning to get to the Waterpark around 9-10am. That means SB/Josey/Pablito/Tilla/Dammer would need to be up by about 6am as it is exactly a 3 hr drive to the Waterpark Capital of the World.

I would also need to leave at 6am as it is exactly 3 hr from Chicago to the Dells. The best part is you can come and go from the park as you wish, and since we would be there early we can park right next to the best water slides. This means we can bring our own food and drinks (emphasis on drinks), which will save us money and increase our level of fun.

Another real good thing about the dells, is checking out the mullets and all around dirties. It is awesome.

The hotel is about 100 bucks a night, so that split up would be like 25/person if we had 4 to a room. The price of admission to Noah's isn't super cheap (about 30 bucks) but it's definitely worth it. Anyone else can come, if Rose Bear wants to be scared of water slides, or if Tilla's mysterious fiancee. The Knights of Cydonia don't exclude.

I already ordered the tickets and got 2 hotel rooms so we are set to go. I also got a round trip ticket from Dallas to Chicago for Adeclipse. Just send me the money.

No, but for real, anyone else down? I know it's an awfully long time in advance but I am already getting excited just thinking about it (and Josey's tan).