Monday, April 7, 2008

Big Weekend for the Daymonster

This weekend has left the Daymonster tired and full of news. Warning: this post is essentially one long rant.

First, I have my Xbox back. I had to drive about an hour south east of Chicago to some UPS warehouse to receive it. The helpful UPS person on the phone told me to come to the warehouse with a government issued photo ID and picking up the package would be no problem. So after I get my cable hooked up on Friday I got into my car and drove down to the UPS location. Luckily the cable guy came early in the specified 4 hour block so I could drive to the warehouse with plenty of time.

I find the large brown building and proceed to what I think is the entrance for customer pick up. It's a nice glass door with a big UPS batch on the front and wooden paneling on the walls and desk. This door was locked, and after I mouthed through the glass that I was looking for "customer pickup" the angry lady behind the desk rolled her eyes and thumbed in the direction to my left.

I walked to my left and turned the corner of this shitty gravel parking lot area with a small window less metal door. I opened the door to see probably 75 people in a 15'x15' demanding their packages. I stand in like for a good 15 minutes until I get up to the counter and hand the lady my government issued identification card, thinking I am almost out of the woods.

"Sorry, this doesn't have your correct address on it, I can't give you the package."

"Of course it doesn't have the same address on it, I don't fucking live at the address it was trying to be delivered to. That's why I am here, if I lived where it was being sent I would just get it there."

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't release it to you unless you have a piece of mail that has your name on it and this address. Do you have that?"

"Uhhh, yeah, I have that. It's that big fucking box right behind you with my Xbox in it. That's a piece of mail with my name and address on it."

"Well, sorry sir, that doesn't count. We have these procedures to insure people don't steal other peoples packages"

"Good plan, UPS. I am another person with the same exact name (that isn't exactly common) as the real recipient, who is willing to show a valid drivers license, sign for a package in front of multiple video cameras. I also happen to know the 800 digit tracking number, the contents of the package, and have the slip that the UPS driver left. Which I also made sure the real recipient of the package wouldn't get on the first day it was delivered so I could come down to this hell hole and steal it."

So to make a long story a bit shorter, I realized I had 2 hours until the UPS pickup place closed. So I sped home as fast as I could, brought a shoe box full of old mail, sports illustrated swimsuit issue, three NetFlix movies, my old check book and my cable bill and made it back to the UPS warehouse with 5 minutes to spare.

The funny thing is when I set down the shoe box full of shit, they didn't even bother to look at it. They just handed me the Xbox. So there you have it, if you wanna steal someones UPS package, make a big stink, go out to your car, find some random papers and throw them down on the counter.

Back to the cable/internet issue. The cable dude was supposed to come on Friday between 4 and 8. After arguing with the people at the cable company telling them that I can set up the modem and cable box my self and all they need to do is sent the juices to my apartment, they assured me that a technician for 50 dollars had to come out to my apartment. I decided I would have everything set up perfectly and when the cable guy came out I would show him, tell him he had nothing to do and that I refused to pay the 50 bucks.

So I set up everything and decided to see if it was working. (as I just plugged in my TV to the wall when I first moved in and no channels showed up, which is why I then called RCN - My Cable Company) With the modem and DVR hooked up I was getting all of the channels and my internet was running fast. I picked up the cell phone to call RCN and cancel the appointment with the technician. As I started to dial the number I got a call from the cable guy, he was outside.

So I ran downstairs to let him up, when I saw he was carrying a cable box and a modem... Did he not know I already had the equipment? I was debating beating him up the stairs unplugging my cable box and hiding it, thinking I could get a free second box. But my conscience got the better of me and I let him know that I already had the equipment. He told me that in his hand held it said I didn't have any and he then scanned the equipment and updated my account. He then reset the signal and a bunch of other random shit.

I could have had free TV and internet if I just would have hooked everything up earlier. But, on the good news I tested out my connection with multiple games of Halo and COD4... NO LAG... yet.

In other news I purchased a bowling ball on Saturday. It's called the Ebonite Mega X Super Hook. I don't know shit about bowling balls but it was the most expensive one Dick's Sporting Goods had. I'm not a big fan of the color but I do like the dull finish.

Dammer, here are the specs:
15 Lbs 4 oz (I assume the 4 oz. gets drilled out when they due my custom finger holes)
There was some other shit about it being top weighted or something. I dunno.

If you haven't played this game yet, I suggest you try. It's pretty difficult but once you figure out what you gotta do it gets a bit easier. If you need help, watch this or read this.

So I am pretty much all moved in to my new apartment, there is a lot more room and has plenty of beers in the fridge. Who wants to come visit?


Pablito Neal said...

i beat that game on my first try! where can i find more levels?

Dammer said...

Solid ball choice. Now all you have to do is learn to kind of throw a hook and the ball will do most of the work. My ball is a backend hooker so it has a flatter trajectory. That's the same weight as my ball though. Of course, my ball also smells like limes so it's kind of hard to beat that.

Pablito Neal said...

i really like reading your rants and re-enactments of your conversations with people

DJmaestro said...

The games seems like it can be pretty sweet, but are you suppose to be able to jump over the first ledge and actually be able to defeat the boss because I can't get my guy to jump he just moves left and right from one end of the tunnel to the other. At least the song is sweet.

Tilla said...

I applaud your valiant effort to put the pissy UPS person in their place. I just wish I had the balls to say what I really think when people are being unreasonable and stupid. Also, good bowling ball choice. I'm sure you'll become an excellent hooker. Do you have a pimp yet? You may want to look into that.

Dammer said...

I can think of a 16 year old male that would love a good hooker. He knows a lot about stuff too, he said so himself. He even knows what Ohms Law is. And he HATES kill stealers. Especially people that kill the Last Stand-er before he can.

Daymonster said...

ahhahahahah, I totally forgot about that kid

what as his name x hellz bellz x?