Monday, May 5, 2008

Housewarming Party

I just bought my plane ticket so it better be happening. Make sure you RSVP in the comments section.

I was going to just leave it at that for today's post because a) I'm lazy and b) the story I am going to tell isn't really that good.

It all happened on Saturday night. I went to a bar called Wrigleyville North. It's about a block from my house and it's always a good place to get cheap drinks and watch/listen to some live music.

Some funny stuff happened while I was there. Two cops drove these three slutty girls to the bar in the back of the cop car. They got out and went into the bar, but the dude at the door wouldn't let them in because he thought it was a set up and one of the girls seemed absolutely smashed. Eventually they let them in but the one girl was not allowed to drink. She just laid her head on the bar while the other two girls danced around to the music.

It was probably around 2am and I needed to use the facilities, so I walked across the bar to the bathroom. It's a larger bathroom (which is funny because it's a tiny bar) so when I couldn't get the door open I knew it wasn't just simply locked. I gave it another good push and could feel the door give way enough to see that someone was leaning against it. Being pretty drunk and having to pee real bad I gave it another push and eventually squeezed in to the room.

Two dudes where in there. Not sure if they were doing a line of coke, or just playing "If you show me yours, I'll show you mine." But either way they didn't want me in there. Being completely oblivious, I stand up next to the urinal and start to relieve myself.

Here is where it went downhill. As I am standing there I say to the two sketchy characters, "What were you too fools doing in here that you didn't want any company" or something to that effect. I distinctly remember the word fool in my questions, because shortly after I posed the question, one of the dudes said, "Who you calling a fool?" and decided to punch me square in the eye as I was standing there with my pants down.

I saw a flash of light when it hit me and I feel back a bit. Amazingly I didn't pee on myself and re-buttoned my jeans. (I didn't zip up my fly, there wasn't enough time) I was obviously surprised. The other non-punching dude was holding the other guy back as I tried to weigh my options. I didn't really want to get my ass kicked by two guys in the bathroom but I alway didn't want to just let this guy punch me. Also, from hearing about drunken bar fights in court often end up getting their cases thrown out and I wasn't sure of the extend of the damage to my eye. (turns out besides redness and a little bit of soreness nothing happened with it... what a pussy)

I (briskly) walked out of the bathroom to tell my party what just transpired and just as they tell me I should get his name, I see the dude that punched me sprint out of the bar. The funny part is that the other dude in the bathroom started telling the bartender and bouncer that I just walked into the bathroom and started hitting them. Either way, we left the bar after that and I woke up with a little bit of soreness but nothing that bad.

So a reminder to all of the KofC members Publish Post, when some dudes are holding the bathroom door shut, just try and hold it a bit longer.


locopuyo said...

I'll be there.

Pablito Neal said...

josey, retell your bro's story about his recent bathroom fight!

i'll be at the party too.

Daymonster said...

Well this partay is going to suck with just Unky, Pablito and Puyo..

Just kidding, even that would be a good time.

Pablito Neal said...

it will just be a lan party. that'll be superleet.

locopuyo said...

So I should bring my 360?

Squatting Bear said...

i should be there.

locopuyo said...


Unky Eternal said...

I will do my best to make it. I still have to find a job for the summer in Decorah so i dont know what my schedule will be like. Tim needs a fake b/c he will be the only person under 21, and i assume that we will be going out on the town.

Dammer said...

Speaking of ID's, I have to go get my Minnesota driver's license today. I have to actually take a test and shit, this is gonna suck.

locopuyo said...

yeah man that sux. The stereotypes of such places are very true.
So are you coming to the party?

Daymonster said...

Yeah, Dammer...
RSVP you tard