Thursday, November 8, 2007

Knights of Cydonia: Get to Know 'Em (Squatting Bear)

Although Squatting Bear can be quite elusive (read: lazy). He by far had the quickest turn around of interview questions of any KofC interviewees. Which we can only assume that he had a few minutes while the oven was preheating (which we all agreed is a big myth). Here is the interview.

Name: Peter Christensen (AKA: Squatting Bear, SB, Bumbass)

Age: 22

How many hours a day do you sleep/hibernate?
I'd say I average about 10 hours of sleep per day. Though some days it can be up to 12-14 hours.

If you could go out drinking with any 3 people, alive or dead, who would they be?
Any 3 members of the Luther drinking team, watching Beerfest, chugging boots.

Same question, replace drinking with poker:
Indian poker in the basement featuring MC, Unky Warthog, and Dane Christensen.

Halo 1, 2, or 3?
Tough one, I really do enjoy Halo 3. I'll have to go Halo 1, then 3, then far behind is 2.

Preferred Halo 3 weapon?

Least favorite weapon?
Brute Shot. There are worse weapons, but I'm not tempted to pick them up like I am with the Brute Shot. Also the Spartan Laser, I think I have like 3 lifetime kills with the laser.

Preferred Halo 3 vehicle?
Ghost, hands down.

Least favorite vehicle?
Banshee. It's really annoying when the opposing team gets it.

Best Halo memory?
10 hour halo 2 game mentioned in Puyo's interview. Communicating with other teams during freshmen year of college via the message board outside the cafeteria because there was no other way to find out who they were.

Getting plasma pistoled-battle rifled in Halo 2.

As the only brother duo in the KofC, is there any chance Dane might join the ranks?
Seems unlikely, DC is a busy man with work, poker, and a gf. Never say never though.

What did you miss most while on your death bed at the hospital? Poker, KofC or Rose?
KofC, no doubt. [Editor's Note: Lies.]

What happened more often in college? Attending class, waking up before noon, or being sober past 8 on a Fri/Sat night?
Well, none of these happened often, that's for sure. I guess I did occasionally have to go to class to turn in a paper or take a test though, whereas I was never up before noon or sober on a weekend.

What is your general diet?
I only eat the good foods. I eagerly await the day when it is finally revealed that vegetables are in fact poisonous, as I have known for many years.

Squatting Bear (right) and Josey Wales arguing about who will be calling Domino's
What is your favorite beverage?

What is your favorite pop/soda? (Redbull is not pop/soda)
All the novelty mountain dews are delicious, I rank them: GameFuel, PitchBlack, LiveWire, CodeRed [Editor's Note: Where is Blue Shock, Baja Blast, and Pitch Black II in these rankings?]

What is your best drinking accomplishment?
I'm a proud member of the sub 5:00 boot club. I was the second man to achieve this, behind the legendary Josey Wales. Also that one summer me and Sven owned pretty hard at beer pong a couple nights a week.

How many times did you have to watch Rounders to acquire your poker skills?
I had watched Rounders 10 times, but on the 11th time, things just clicked, and then I got all the monies.

How much would you have to be paid to work at a regular job in an office?
I would work a typical office job for $300/hr, I think. I've never had a real job so I don't know for sure how bad it would be, but I fear the worst. However for $300/hr I would at least attempt the job, I would not even try for anything less.

What would you rather have, Hovercraft, Personal Helicopter, Non-Broken Marlboro Mini Dirt bike?
Tempting to go with the hovercraft, but I gotta stick with the personal helicopter, otherwise known as the air scooter. I will one day acquire said vehicle, mark my words.

What is the best part about living with Josey?
Drinking and Halo teammate just feet away.

He doesn't drink or play Halo anymore.

What size and type of TV do you play on?
65" Mitsubishi 1080P DLP.

What are your halo 3 strengths?
I own in the ghost, and unselfishness, as I usually leave the good weapons for others to take!

Endurance while playing, sometimes get impatient.

What activity do you prefer, baking, knitting, or scrap booking?
Baking, obviously.


Pablito Neal said...

Great interview! I feel like I've never actually known the real SB... but now i do.

Josey WaIes said...

Great questions, amazing answers! I was in Property, and we starting to talk about gay rights in coownership property, so I started reading the get to know SB, but I was forced to stop, because I was laughing, and had to wait till class was over. Important note, my lack of interest in the subject was not due to any gay hate, but the fact that they dont have any rights in coownership, thus it will not be on the final becuse no laws exist.

Dammer said...

Solid Q&A session. At first mention of the personal helicopter I thought you were talking about the now deceased air-hog, however this new and improved air-hogesque beast of a machine far outstrips the air-hog in size, speed, coolness, and attractiveness to the ladies. I foresee potential parking problems though.

Daymonster said...

Haha you had an airhog helicopter too? I broke it in like 10 minutes so I put it back in its package (which took about an hour) and returned it to target.

Also, Josey admit it. You hate gays (but secretly love them)

Unky Warthog said...

One time SB said he was gonna take 3-1.5 hour classes in a row on Tuesdays and Thursdays so he would it be hard for him to skip class, but in reality he just skipped all three.

Pablito Neal said...

last weekend in the roseville mall someone was demonstrating an air hog like toy helicopter and it came and sliced me across the cheek as i walked by. i could have been blinded and my gaming career severely hindered!

Daymonster said...

I double checked your Laser remark. You have 7 kills with it but not a single kill with the Spartan Laser in ranked matches.

Dammer said...

Pete's airhog was held together with duct tape and in the last week of school suffered a harsh landing amidst 30 mph winds never to fly again. Pablito you need to invest in Master Chief style headwear. I hear you can pick some up at Kohl's. One time SB said he'd wake me up to go to breakfast in the morning (we were drinking Hawk when he said it mind you). Lol.