Those are a few videos that I think are worth your time.
Chicago, IL - The Daymonster, famed member of the storied Knights of Cydonia Clan, won scariest pumpkin at his office's pumpkin carving/painting contest. His entry "Ralph" beat out over 25 other gourdes to win the coveted paper ribbon.
"I really didn't think I had a chance. There was a real good batch this year, a lot of people can carve and they came out to show it tonight." said Daymonster.
While I do not know for a fact how Unky's date went last night; but here is how I imagined it went.
I did, however, have an idea of what the lucky female might look like.
I decided to do a little research to see if we could get a better guess. After "camping" Tim's facebook I have narrowed it down to 3 possible ladies (my results are based on a complex equation of wall posting frequency and picture appearances.)
Name: Meg
Pros: Doesn't appear to be ugly.
Cons: Either has a kid or wants a kid.
Name: Siri
Pros: Has nice teeth (as far as I can tell in a 1x1in picture).
Cons: Again, clearly wants kids ASAP.
Name: Ashley
Pros: Possibly has a good sense of humor
Cons: More than likely she is completely crazy.
The Date:
8:00pm: Unky picks up Ashley/Siri/Meg around 8pm outside the Library in his newly washed and vacuumed Warthog.
8:03pm: They exchanged pleasantries, and Unky tells a hilarious joke that makes Ashley/Siri/Meg snort, which eases the uncomfortable sexual tension.
8:08pm: They make their way to the local cineplex to catch the 8:23 showing of Mr. Woodcock.
8:20pm: In the back of the theatre, Unky sits down next to Ashley/Siri/Meg with a Large Coke, Sourpatch Kids and Popcorn, and places his arm around her.
8:25pm: The movie lights lower and Unky places his trigger hand on her thigh, she swoons.
8:45pm: Unky takes a page right out of Squatting Bear's book and places Ashley/Siri/Meg's hand it perfect HJ position.
8:46pm: Unky goes to the bathroom to clean up.
8:59pm: Ashley/Siri/Meg is gone. Unky goes to play Halo.
This is how I will remember this date happening until Unky posts the true story.
These were not the optimal conditions for Unky's first, first date in nearly 3 years, but it was a date nonetheless, and one that I am likely to endure significant taunting and ridicule from.
It is also not an optimal place to be posting pictures and/or names as certain KofC members still have access to Luther facebook. Unky has been subject to previous ridicule (chem video), so he feels slightly paranoid about giving information that in some way or another could be used against him.
Once assured of KofC loyalty following a trip report, Unky will proceed with more of the details.
As for now? Unky is going on a run.
The following conversation occurred on AOL Instant Messenger at 9:21pm CST. This is copied and pasted and is word-for-word and completely accurate*
*except for the last sentence
Daymonster: halo... now.
Unky: can't
Unky: unky date
Daymonster: liar
Unky: it's true
Unky: i'll have a good blog tomorrow
Daymonster: prove it
Daymonster: as long as we have pic and lots of info
Unky: haha
Unky: i promise i will give all details and include nude pic
I think we can all look forward to Unky's next post.
Recently, I posted a blog about Josey quitting Halo 3 and Law School to pursue a career as a male model. Now, some of you may have picked up that I posted this as a joke. This blog, however, is entirely too serious:
It was about 9 p.m. last night, and Rose had just come over. The two of us were going to watch some Heroes on DVD. I wanted to watch Heroes in the big TV room, as opposed to my room, because 1. It is more comfortable, and 2. The TV is much much bigger. However, being the considerate friend, roommate, and clan member that I am, I first asked Josey if he was planning to play Halo later, as I would not want to get in the way of a fellow member's training and fun. I thought Josey would respond that yes indeed he was playing later, and we would then watch Heroes in my room. HOWEVER, that is far from the response I got. Instead, Josey responded with, and I quote here essentially word for word (as close as I can remember): "No, I won't be playing any Halo until after finals are over."
Now, let's all take a moment to appreciate the magnitude of that statement. No Halo. At all. Until after finals.
(Squatting Bear lets it sink in...)
(a bit longer...)
Okay. Josey, you do realize that is over a month of no Halo at all. Your considerable skills will rot, and KofC will be missing a key member. I post this blog not to call you out, but instead as an attempt to rally the troops and bring you to your senses. We need you Josey. I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss your scent.
Fellow KofC members, please post your outrage and desire for Josey to return to Knights of Cydonia here.
The Knights of Cydonia had it's 1337th visitor today. I documented this occasion with the below screen shot.
In a related moment, Halo 3 turns one month old at midnight tonight. It seems like was only a month ago that I was sitting in this chair counting the hours until I would make my way over to Gamestop (which I am investing in) for the midnight release.
A lot has changed in the last month. I have get significantly less sleep every night now that I play Halo, but mostly I have been obsessing over my internet speed. I quadrupled the amount of money I spend on internet so I could have the fastest residential speed possible. Sadly I was mistaken, while I can download soft core at an amazing rate, I still get booted out of games on an all-too-frequent basis.
I have called RCN and Xbox live to try to get it figured out. And every time it leads to nothing. Last night I talked to some Xbox Live Tech Support Girl (girl? that was my first problem... I kid) This is what I imagined she looked like.
Here is how the call went.
LTSG: Thank you for calling Xbox Live Technical Support can I have your first and last name please?
Me: "My Name"
XLTSG: May I call you Mr. Baymont?
Me: Uhhh, yeah I guess.
XLTSG: What is your Xbox Live Gamertag Mr. Baymont?
Me: The Daymonster
XLTSG: The Baymonster?
Me: No... The Daymonster, with a 'D' as in Dog
XLTSG: Yes, the Baymonster?
(You get the idea... this went on for longer than I or she would care to admit. Funny thing is there is a The Baymonster, and he is better than me. That got me think and no, there is no The Gaymonster... yet.)
XLTSG: Okay, Mr. Baymont, what is the problem? (I thought maybe after the above discussion she would pick up on my real name, but no).
Me: Well, I have had a real hard time with lag on Halo 3. I get kicked out in the middle of games sometimes for 5 minutes at a time and sometimes completely. I upgraded my internet speed to 20 mbps and it hasn't helped, are there any settings that could be effecting this?
XLTSG: Oh, Sir, you need to have at least a 256k high speed internet connection to play on Xbox Live.
Me: Yeah, I know its cable. It's 20 megabits. It should be fast enough.
XLTSG: No, it needs to be high speed.
Me: 20 mbps is high speed.
XLTSG: No, Mr. Baymont, high speed is anything faster thant 256k.
(You can see, based on the early back-and-forth, how well this one went).
Basically, she put me on hold 4 or 5 times as she talked to her supervisor and she came back and told me that my cable modem (not my router, or switch) was not compatible. I asked how I could find a cable modem that works and she said on the website, but there was no mention of compatible or incompatible cable modems.
Name: Benjam'n Hansen
Age: 23 DC84
If you could go out drinking with any 3 people, alive or dead, who would they be?
Benjamin Franklin, Cliffy B. and Olivia Munn.
Same question, replace drinking with playing video games:
Me, Fatal1ty, and the Ogres would make an unstoppable team in any game.
Halo 1, 2, or 3?
3>1>2
Preferred Halo 3 weapon?
The common misconception is that I prefer the sniper rifle but in reality IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER!!
Least favorite weapon?
The Brute Spiker. Why does a weapon with blades suck so much?
Preferred Halo 3 vehicle?
The brute chopper is pretty sweet but nothing beats the default Warthog.
Least favorite vehicle?
The Brute Prowler. It is an inferior knock-off of the Specter.
Best Halo memory?
It is hard to pick just one. I've had so many great ones. There was the time Dammer and I camped on the cliff side of the red base in blood gulch in an instant respawn CTF game with no vehicles and racked up over a hundred kills each with under five deaths playing with Saucy and the other nubblets over the Luther network. [Editor's note: Saucy less than nubblets.]
In the early days of Halo 2 assault you could go into “sudden death” indefinitely if you just held on to the bomb after time expired. Me, Squatting Bear, Dammer, and Space Monkey were tied 2-2 so we hid on top of the cloak tower in Zanzibar with the bomb with the intention to out wait our opponents. After a few hours it was getting late and we realized they weren't going to give up anytime soon. So we set a book on top of my controller so I would remain crouched and hidden from the enemy's view, then we went to sleep. In the morning the other players were still there but they didn't appear to be playing so we planted the bomb and won. The game lasted over 8 hours, so long the time didn't even show up on bungie.net. It was a glorious battle and we won.
Worst?
Playing instant respawn shotty no shield CTF. [Editor's Question: Does Josey take offense?]
What position of employment in Ramathorn's rocket factory would you be most suited for?
Lead Engineer, it would be annoying when the prototypes I would be working on mysteriously end up in Ramathorn's hands when I need them.
Who would you say people (a.k.a. KofC members) think is better in and out of bed , your sister or your mom? [Editor's Note: No Comment from LocoPollo, although recent assumptions would indicate that SB prefers LocoPollo's brother.]
What is your favorite beverage?
The original Mountain Dew Pitch Black, but since they don't make it anymore nothing tastes better than your sister's milk. [Editor's Note: LocoPollo added this question in response to the previous question.]
Would you consider purchasing shoes with velcro straps to alleviate how often they become untied? If not, why not and would you consider a laces/velcro hybrid? If so, what is the chance of Squatting Bear urinating on them while drunk?
No, junk always gets stuck on the velcro and a hybrid would have the same problems. Even if the problem of junk getting stuck on the velcro was somehow solved, they would undoubtedly be ruined when Squatting Bear takes his 3 AM leak.
Who do you hate more, non-republicans, anti-videogamers, catholics, Iowans, or dog-face CS chick and why?
Anti-video gamers because they ignore reason and facts, they use fallacy ridden arguments, and because I play and make video games for a living.
What size and type of TV do you play on?
46” 1080p Sharp Aquos LCD with a 4 ms response time. It supports 1080p through component video which is very nice. [Editor's Note: My TV identical to this one is current trucking it's way to my apartment.]
Every videogamer has a prized controller from their present or past, what is yours (include specifics including but not limited to size, weight, nickname, distinguishing markings, etc.)?
Salty. Salty is an original Xbox “big” or “duke” controller. I replaced the left joystick with a right joystick from another big controller and put salt colored with green chalk inside the gem.
What are your halo 3 strengths?
I pwn at everything. If you know how good I am you think I'm modest. I guess if I had to pick one thing it would be my illusive ability to stay alive through the most intense firefights. I have a knack for living.
Weaknesses?
I am a single being. I haven't completely perfected the shotgun yet. I win the vast majority of my shotty battles but I feel my ability with this gun could be closer to perfection.
Who would win in a battle of skills, Unky in chemistry or Josey in modeling?
It would be an evenly matched battle but I believe in the end they would team up to create a best selling male modeling grease. [Editor's Note: Ew.]
Seeing as both you and Tilla are red-heads, what is your estimated arrival of red hair losing it's recessivity and becoming a dominant gene? Does it give you any advantage in Halo play?
I estimate 9/9/2552. A guy with red hair will just skip the heating up phase because “He's on fire!”.
We always knew Unky was talented, either eating phallic shaped foods, or driving warthogs in the African Safari. But who knew that Unky once moonlite as a chemistry video personality and spokesperson.
After weeks of searching online for an adequate challenger, Unky just couldn't find anyone capable of battling Josey and himself in an Unky (warthog) war. With his precision driving and Josey's excellent gunmanship they were able to withstand any challengers.
I know it's hard to believe, KofC, but youtube does not lie. Whilst surfing the vastness of amateur videos and half-assed montages, I stumbled upon a video that will no doubt bring many to tears when they find out that their beloved hero is not all he has shown himself to be. The evidence does not lie. Look for yourself...
This video, however, has not tainted my allegiance to Master Chief. I urge you not to take this crucial blow too personally. It is obvious that whoever made this video is plotting to diminish the morale of the ranks of Halo fanatics. Keep your heads high gentlemen and continue to do what you do best, kick ass!
In a rare occurrence Squatting Bear (SB) spent late morning and early afternoon baking. Seeing SB doing something besides sleeping, playing poker or buying things is a once-in-a-lifetime moment, but seeing it happen before 3pm is downright unheard of.
Recently Squatting Bear was online playing Halo. I don't want to jinx it but does this meet that SB is changing his ways? Will he spend more time awake than asleep? Experts say this is unlikely as Squatting Bear needs more sleep than even regular bears.
One reliable sources says he was baking Special K bars, the official snack of KofC. Squatting Bear's recipe can be found here. But for an added kick, SB recommends adding 4 cups of Game Fuel to the mixture.
Note to Squatting Bear: Please send a zip lock bag full of your homemade treats to me (Daymonster) as soon as possible. Thank you in advance.
While out running amongst the deserts of Owatonna (yes running through the deserts, big woop wanna fight about it?) I was blessed with a sight that can only be seen by those with the eye reflexes of anyone with caffeine and adderall coursing through their veins. Obviously I was quite taken aback by the gravity of the situation. An obvious constructionist...the wielder of the hammer had to be in awe at the agility of the ninja. A roofer should not have to put up with such a situation during his workday, yet I feel as if both of us were graced by the presence of a true ninja-master. It soon became apparent to me that I had seen something like this before, but only infrequently. I was instantly reminded of a certain Squatting Bear, the seemingly inconspicuous Halo player you may sometimes find out in the wilds of Snowbound, Containment, and Sidewinder. In fact I would dare to say the rarity of both of the sightings is beyond belief. Alas my glimpse of the ninja was fleeting as he dissappeared into the Owatonna afternoon sky. Perhaps soon I will see him or Squatting Bear again, crouching upon some other unsuspecting construction worker's, or Halo player's, tools of the trade.
So, I am probably the only person that cares about this, but this site is one of two things that keep me sane while I am at work. The other being this.
So I created a list of what I thought every post should have.
Here it is:
Any of these rules can be broken for the right reason. If there is no image that can explain what your post is about that's fine, but don't just post some stupid shit about something that is all fucked up with run-on sentences. We may be a fine tuned killing machine, but we should be able to write legibly.
Essentially, all I am saying is nothing makes me more sad than when I check the blog (say, every 10-15 minutes) and not only is there no post from any of you but there are no new comments. Bastards!
I am sure there will be a major backlash to this post, but I don't want this to change anything between us. I want to fight (and most likely die) with you in battle.
P.S. Josey and I went on a solid 7-8 game winning streak last night after you fools went to bed.
Hey I've been looking for something good as my first post and I finally found it. It didn't take a lot of research (heard it from Diggnation) but it's amazing. Imagine playing with a bunch of your friends on a plane or just walking down the street.
**Looks like these vids up here have changed. You can still find them on this guy's blog: http://blogs.ign.com/matt-ign
Well, I was just about to post the interview questions from the Daymonster, when I went to the blog site, and Daymonster himself had just posted them. I've been sick the last couple days, so that is why I did not post them earlier (weak excuse, I know). Anyway, I figured I still better post the poster I made of Daymonster.
I didn't want to have to post my own Get to Know 'Em, but after I sent back my answers to Squatting Bear over two days ago, I got fidgety and posted them myself. (I promise, I did not come up with these questions they came straight from Squatting Bear, which explains why there are so good and thought-provoking)
Name: Daymonster
Age: 23
If you could go out drinking with any 3 people, alive or dead, who would they be?
The CEO of RCN (my cable company), Bill Gates and the Lead Designer of the of Halo series, so I could bitch about everything that is wrong with my game playing experience. From why my Internet is so slow, to why the pistol from Halo 1 was so quickly swept aside. I would need the massive amount of alcohol to get up the courage to go on the huge rant in front of these people.
Halo 1, 2, or 3?
Halo 1, without a doubt. Halo 1 had everyone spawning on equal playing ground, if you spawned in a battle you had a decent chance of killing people as getting killed. Then Halo 3, then Halo 2 in a distant third.
Preferred Halo 3 weapon?
Probably the shotgun. Then the BR, but the covenant rifle is becoming a close second.
Least favorite weapon?
Plasma pistol (does anyone use that POS now?)
Ghost or Banshee?
Good question. It's gotta be Banshee though, It causes a lot of problems for the other team (assuming they don't have the laser).
Best Halo memory?
The first time I played Halo 1. We were at was at Holden's house after playing some soccer. And the map was hang 'em high. I had no idea what I was doing, and I remember thinking it was dumb you could only have two weapons. I got owned but I knew that my life would never be the same.
Worst?
My freshman year of college, we were playing a 8 v 8 blood gultch CTF. It was tied 2-2 and the other team had the flag, I tried to portal to the rockets as the other team was about to cap. I picked up the rockets just in time to get a long range hit on the warthog. Unfortunately they flipped and landed perfectly, and ended up capping. Obviously upset, my "friend" BastardChi said something that put me over the edge and I punched him. I have never lived that down. But I stand by my decision.
Oh... also, everytime I smashed a controller.
Ceder or Cupid?
This is the toughest question I have ever been asked. I don't know how good Cupid is at Halo 3, but I think I would take him over Ceder right now. I feel Halo 3 would play more to Cupid's strengths that I observed in Halo 1. But back in college, probably Ceder, as playing halo would generally prelude or precede massive amounts of drinking. And it was always more fun to drink with Ceder than with Cupid. (No disrespect intended.)
Who hates your more, Unky Deb or your standard NFC opponent?
Unky Deb, has a more long-standing constant hatred of the Daymonster than NFC opponents. The standard NFC opponent hates me more vehemently during the game and the few minutes after the game, but I assume (hope) that they forget about me and my tactics after the game has past and they go back to their normal, lame lives.
Why/how have you not seen Beerfest?
I am confused by this question, I, in fact, own Beerfest on BlueRay. I do however not watch it on an hourly basis while drinking boots in front of a massive TV. But that is not by choice, that is because I am at the mercy of the company I keep here in Chicago.
Aspire or moped?
Winter: Aspire… Every other season: moped. Both are death traps. But, if I got in half as many fender-benders with the moped, as I did with the Aspire, I would certainly no longer be on this earth.
Chicago or Minnesota?
Besides the fact that you generally need a DD everytime in Minnesota, there is no comparison. Minnesota is God's country, and I will never call any other place home.
What size and type of TV do you play on?
I play on a 37" LCD with one burned out pixel in the upper right corner that pisses the shit out of me. I play with a Elite 360, with a black wireless controller that is always hooked up to the charging cord, because I have never botherd to learn how to sync it to the 360.
What are you halo 3 strengths?
I can throw a grenade farther than any other player in the game.
Weaknesses?
Besides my terrible lag weakness, I am a pretty bad shot with the sniper (I am working on it) and tend to get a little over zealous when tards get the lead and then camp spots in maps.
I will make this brief so as not to distract from Daymonsters wonderful post. I need screenshots or footage of sweet halo play from each and every one of you. Thanks to Tilla's blazingly fast computer the Lines that I Ride went way faster than expected and I need filler time so as to make this last until the end of the music. I have all the splicing done but I need YOU (insert pointy finger) to help me out, else I find footage from my own gamesaves and possibly humiliate you (sticky to face? brute steamer to chest?). Email or set up an XBL file-share through Halo 3. The sooner this is done the sooner you can see/make better the line-rider.
Hey guys,
Great job on the blog so far, especially Daymonster. Sorry for not contributing so far, I'll try to do better. I'd also like to formally congratulate Unky Warthog on his acceptance into Knights of Cydonia. As you can tell from the poster I created, Unky is a multi-talented individual who I'm sure will help KoC rise to the top of the Halo 3 (and binge-drinking) world.
Well, not exactly. However, my cluster did buy not one, not two, but 5 BOTTLES OF EVERCLEAR! Last night, in the midst of studying for 2 tests today, my cluster got a start on what will be a wonderful wop. We added in the alcohol and fruit bites (canteloupe, pears, strawberries, cherries (not you, Cherry), apples, and oranges), and later today we will add in the fruit punch concentrate. I cannot wait. So come one, come all to what will surely be an enjoyable night. Who knows, you might even get treated to the luxurious accommodations of Winneshiek Hospital!
As some of you may know, my XBOX went MIA as of two days ago. 3 red lights have killed the poor thing. Unfortunately neither Gamestop, Target, nor Walmart carried the Core 360 and a quick fix. I am forced to go with a 4 week hiatus and send it in for repairs/replacement. In the meantime however I will play at Tilla's if possible and I plan on purchasing a new TV this coming weekend. 
On a related topic I am here at home this weekend and plan on celebrating the end of my initial job training Friday night/Saturday if anyone wants to partake. Yesterday/Today at work I made a SAWEET LineRider (8 hours of paid work spent on frivolous activities mind you) that I hope to upload sometime tomorrow if I can find where it is saved, I will give instructions obviously. Until then keep making 10 year olds cry after you hump their corpse.
If you get bored feel free to imagine these guys on the next Guitar Hero (cause they are). Be sure to hit the 3:00 mark.
WTF! Where was everyone last night? After getting kicked off my first game last night, I had almost no lag for the rest of the time! I got my first "perfection award," apparently you cannot die and you must have at least 15 kills. I got it on team doubles on Guardian. It was pretty exciting.
Matchmaking Updates
As some of you might know Bungie released some information about Halo 3's Matchmaking Playlists. I would say I am happy about most of them except the shotty/sniper update. Here are the changes and they are live now.
There you have it, the even though Bungie is breaking off of Microsoft, looks like they are still updating the matchmaking. Hopefully some new maps will appear in the near future.
Costume Conundrum
Seeing that it is Halloween season, I have gone back to my desire to make a Master Chief costume. A few years back I dropped about 150 bucks on making a Ghostbuster costume with some pretty solid results (yes, I realize MC is about eleventy billion times more complicated, but I have been reading up on the subject.
Here is the look I am going for.
It looks pretty accurate, although in mine I would like to maybe make the dual SMG's a little more realistic, and maybe paint it a different color.
This one I thought was alright (don't get me wrong, I would definitely be happy if this was the end result) but I was a little frustrated by the fact that everyone on the forum was calling this Master Chief "Gay." I couldn't figure it out, is it the rainbow tinted visor?
Anyway, I have all of the armor templates on my computer, I just printed off the helmet template (it's 20 pages of legal paper jigsaw pieces). I am going to try to go with the cardboard approach, as I don't have access to a lot of fiberglass or resin injectors like many of the die hard MC makers seem to have.
This is basically the model I am working off of. This so called "Trader Todd's Worker" built an entire MC outfit in a week or so for less than 30 bucks. Here is his helmet.
So what do you guys think, what is the possibility I could do this by Halloween? Or at least the next Halloween, my guess is I'll start it, get sick of it, and never touch it again (i.e. both fat blogs).
Early Edition Link-O-Rama
As some of you have read (Pablito Neal) ESPN had a pretty cool article about the MLGers.
Instead of trying to build a MC outfit, if I shrunk down about 100 lbs and a foot or two, moved to Australia and went to Kmart, I could just wear this.
Here is another article about the last few days leading up to Halo 3's release. It's a pretty interesting piece,\ except that they hint that the reason Halo 1 was popular was due to the 9/11 attacks.
SB purchase this VW Warthog.
I found this video to be incredibly hilarious, but I also find this site to be entertaining, but no one else seems too.
Every week (or so) there will be a Bio for each member of the KofC. Who better to start it off with than our newest member and team chauffeur, Unky Warthog.
Name: Unky Warthog
Age: 20
Which of your many nicknames is your favorite? Hmmm... Unky, Burr, or Two-Ton? It's gotta be Unky.
If you could go out drinking with any three people (alive, dead or video game characters) who would they be? Chris Farley and his two best friends.
Favorite Drink? Rockstar Energy Drink
Favorite Food? Pizza Hut Pepperoni Pizza
Favorite Sports Team(s)? Atlanta Braves and Dallas Cowboys
Prediction for the World Series? Rockies in 6
Favorite Video Game system? XBox 360
Favorite Video Game? Final Fantasy VII
What is your favorite Halo 3 weapon? Warthog [I was really hopping this was true according to his Bungie stats but unfortunately, it would be the assault rifle]
What is your favorite Halo 3 map? Epitaph
Halo 3 Game type? Team Slayer
Which is the best, Halo, Halo 2 or Halo 3? Halo 3
What is your favorite warthog to drive, the machine gun hog, the Gauss hog, or the 6 person transport hog? Standard Warthog please.
Your greatest Halo memory/achievement? The first day I sat in the driver seat of a Warthog in Halo 1. This is probably the greatest memory of my entire life.
Your worst Halo memory? I was standing on the middle platform in Wizard shooting a huge nub, ChrisSchveiger, when I anticipated him going up a side ramp. As he went up I threw a perfect 'nade that would have surely killed him, but because he is such a huge nub he randomly decided to turn around and run the other way.To this day I have no idea what he was thinking. It was against all reason.
What kind/size of TV, Xbox, controller, setup do you use when you game? I play on a standard XBox 360 with a black, wireless controller on a 32"Samsung LCD. To keep maximum attention, I play on a Full Tilt bar stool while I play, approximately 3 feet from my television.
There you have it. By the way, word on the street is that Mikalla69 (or something like that) wants to join the KofC too.
To be honest, I never thought I would make such an elite organization. Though my Warthog skillz and Unky Awareness are second to none (well, maybe Puyo), I just wasn't sure I had what it takes to be a Knight.
That said, I think all of you will be surprised at how much I have improved since the last time you've seen me play. I am no longer relegated to camp under the base with a shotgun in Gulch, but rather have become proficient with various weapons and tactics, including, but not limited to the Battle and Sniper rifles. I hope you will see this improvement and think more highly of Unky in the future.
To those who voted 'no', I will prove you wrong.
I would like to express my congratulations to Unky Warthog for passing the rigorous entry process into the KoC. This is BY FAR the most illustrious moment in Unky's Halo career, yet it still pales in comparison to this man's list of achievements, most notably this.
For all those wondering, my Halo 3 plans for post-work are as follows:
1. end work
2. happy hour with coworkers
3. play Halo 3 moderately drunk
I will be online with Tilla and maybe a guest or two around 7pm CDT, possibly earlier.
Yeah, I stole Aaron Gleeman's Friday post idea. Deal with it.
But before we get to the links, it looks like the votes are in. Welcome to the Knights Unky! As the newest member of the KofC, there is a mandatory interview process the questions and answers will be posted on the site. We all had to do it, just ask us.
Speaking of Unky, looks like we know what his favorite weapon is outside of Halo 3, roofies!
Not that this is a surprise to any of us, but it's impressive none-the-less.
Twins fan and plays Halo 3? Sounds like KofC material to me. Although he probably sucks because he hasn't even heard of Mountain Dew Game Fuel.
This is a little creepy, I am looking forward to all the spam, junk mail and telemarketer calls all at the same time.
Good to see LocoPollo's started a blog. I've already spent hours reading it today.
As for the rest of you, send me your email addresses so I can add you to the contributor's and you can post or whatever you want. You should already have my email address.
Unky Warthog is a mysterious player. While he has a terrible shot, poor Halo strategy, and is generally a detriment to his team in most slayers. He does have a knack for one thing; driving 'hogs. If you have the flag and can't decide to go man-cannon or run up the side, don't worry, Unky's there to pick you up.
But the real question is, do we want Unky in the Knights of Cydonia? Is that rare CTF game worth all the pain and agony of his ill-thrown grenades? Is the chance at capping worth the accidental melee to the back? (at least I assumed it was an accident.)
As you can see to the right there is a poll for Unky's future. For the record my vote is yes. The feeling of seeing a honking warthog behind the base when you have the flag is one that is indescribable. Plus, it's fun to say Unky!
Here are Unky's stats. You guys decide.
I felt like going through the Bungie.net stats and seeing where we are all at. I was expecting more variation in our stats. Essentially it's LocoPollo way out infront and then the rest of us.
Here are the stats.
Best KD Ratio in Ranked Games: LocoPollo (1.65)
Worst KD Ratio in Ranked Games: Squatting Bear (0.70)
Best KD Ratio in Social Games: LocoPollo (1.96)
Worst KD Ratio in Social Games: Squatting Bear (1.05)
Best KD ratio on any map: LocoPollo on VALHALLA (3.59)
Worst KD ratio on any map: Squatting Bear on ISOLATION (0.29)
FAVORITE WEAPONS (Ranked):
Josey Wales: Snipes (28% of all kills)
LocoPollo: Snipes (26% of all kills)
TILLA1234: Assault Rifle (23% of all kills)
Dammer: BR (22% of all kills)
Pablito Neal: Melee (27% of all kills)
Squatting Bear: Snipes (30% of all kills)
Daymonster: Shotgun (21% of all kills)
Soooo... what is with my recent obsession with blogs? Well, maybe its that I have a true love for journalism, or it's the fact that I really like having something to check constantly throughout the day. My guess is it's the second reason.
