Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Knights of Cydonia: Get to Know 'Em (Locopollo)


Name: Benjam'n Hansen

Age: 23 DC84

If you could go out drinking with any 3 people, alive or dead, who would they be?
Benjamin Franklin, Cliffy B. and Olivia Munn.

Same question, replace drinking with playing video games:
Me, Fatal1ty, and the Ogres would make an unstoppable team in any game.

Halo 1, 2, or 3?
3>1>2

Preferred Halo 3 weapon?
The common misconception is that I prefer the sniper rifle but in reality IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER!!

Least favorite weapon?
The Brute Spiker. Why does a weapon with blades suck so much?

Preferred Halo 3 vehicle?
The brute chopper is pretty sweet but nothing beats the default Warthog.

Least favorite vehicle?
The Brute Prowler. It is an inferior knock-off of the Specter.

Best Halo memory?
It is hard to pick just one. I've had so many great ones. There was the time Dammer and I camped on the cliff side of the red base in blood gulch in an instant respawn CTF game with no vehicles and racked up over a hundred kills each with under five deaths playing with Saucy and the other nubblets over the Luther network. [Editor's note: Saucy less than nubblets.]

In the early days of Halo 2 assault you could go into “sudden death” indefinitely if you just held on to the bomb after time expired. Me, Squatting Bear, Dammer, and Space Monkey were tied 2-2 so we hid on top of the cloak tower in Zanzibar with the bomb with the intention to out wait our opponents. After a few hours it was getting late and we realized they weren't going to give up anytime soon. So we set a book on top of my controller so I would remain crouched and hidden from the enemy's view, then we went to sleep. In the morning the other players were still there but they didn't appear to be playing so we planted the bomb and won. The game lasted over 8 hours, so long the time didn't even show up on bungie.net. It was a glorious battle and we won.

Another pretty cool Halo memory is playing a free for all with the Ogres and other pro's. I placed third out of eight beating Ogre 1. He said my name in amazement after I pwnt him in three straight pistol battles and raped his corpse.

Worst?
Playing instant respawn shotty no shield CTF. [Editor's Question: Does Josey take offense?]

What position of employment in Ramathorn's rocket factory would you be most suited for?
Lead Engineer, it would be annoying when the prototypes I would be working on mysteriously end up in Ramathorn's hands when I need them.

Who would you say people (a.k.a. KofC members) think is better in and out of bed , your sister or your mom? [Editor's Note: No Comment from LocoPollo, although recent assumptions would indicate that SB prefers LocoPollo's brother.]

What is your favorite beverage?
The original Mountain Dew Pitch Black, but since they don't make it anymore nothing tastes better than your sister's milk. [Editor's Note: LocoPollo added this question in response to the previous question.]

Would you consider purchasing shoes with velcro straps to alleviate how often they become untied? If not, why not and would you consider a laces/velcro hybrid? If so, what is the chance of Squatting Bear urinating on them while drunk?
No, junk always gets stuck on the velcro and a hybrid would have the same problems. Even if the problem of junk getting stuck on the velcro was somehow solved, they would undoubtedly be ruined when Squatting Bear takes his 3 AM leak.

Who do you hate more, non-republicans, anti-videogamers, catholics, Iowans, or dog-face CS chick and why?
Anti-video gamers because they ignore reason and facts, they use fallacy ridden arguments, and because I play and make video games for a living.

What size and type of TV do you play on?
46” 1080p Sharp Aquos LCD with a 4 ms response time. It supports 1080p through component video which is very nice. [Editor's Note: My TV identical to this one is current trucking it's way to my apartment.]

Every videogamer has a prized controller from their present or past, what is yours (include specifics including but not limited to size, weight, nickname, distinguishing markings, etc.)?
Salty. Salty is an original Xbox “big” or “duke” controller. I replaced the left joystick with a right joystick from another big controller and put salt colored with green chalk inside the gem.

What are your halo 3 strengths?
I pwn at everything. If you know how good I am you think I'm modest. I guess if I had to pick one thing it would be my illusive ability to stay alive through the most intense firefights. I have a knack for living.

Weaknesses?
I am a single being. I haven't completely perfected the shotgun yet. I win the vast majority of my shotty battles but I feel my ability with this gun could be closer to perfection.

Who would win in a battle of skills, Unky in chemistry or Josey in modeling?
It would be an evenly matched battle but I believe in the end they would team up to create a best selling male modeling grease. [Editor's Note: Ew.]

Seeing as both you and Tilla are red-heads, what is your estimated arrival of red hair losing it's recessivity and becoming a dominant gene? Does it give you any advantage in Halo play?
I estimate 9/9/2552. A guy with red hair will just skip the heating up phase because “He's on fire!”.

4 comments:

locopuyo said...

There are only 2 Ogre's, Ogre 1 and Ogre 2, so that would make a total of 3 other people.
And I see you left out the 10 hours Halo 2 game.

Squatting Bear said...

Haha, very nice questions and answers. And yeah I was appalled to see our 10 hour halo 2 game wasn't in your best memories, but it appears from your comment here that dammer just left it out.

Unky Warthog said...

"I am a single being."

Priceless.

Dammer said...

I fixed the omissions. I posted this a few seconds before going to bowling league and was in a hurry. I must say there were some solid answers in there, the Halo memories were the best though. It was really tiring holding up my pistol for how long it took to get 100 kills.