Thursday, October 25, 2007

Unky's Date

While I do not know for a fact how Unky's date went last night; but here is how I imagined it went.

I did, however, have an idea of what the lucky female might look like.

I decided to do a little research to see if we could get a better guess. After "camping" Tim's facebook I have narrowed it down to 3 possible ladies (my results are based on a complex equation of wall posting frequency and picture appearances.)

Name: Meg
Pros: Doesn't appear to be ugly.
Cons: Either has a kid or wants a kid.

Name: Siri
Pros: Has nice teeth (as far as I can tell in a 1x1in picture).
Cons: Again, clearly wants kids ASAP.

Name: Ashley
Pros: Possibly has a good sense of humor
Cons: More than likely she is completely crazy.

The Date:
8:00pm: Unky picks up Ashley/Siri/Meg around 8pm outside the Library in his newly washed and vacuumed Warthog.

8:03pm: They exchanged pleasantries, and Unky tells a hilarious joke that makes Ashley/Siri/Meg snort, which eases the uncomfortable sexual tension.

8:08pm: They make their way to the local cineplex to catch the 8:23 showing of Mr. Woodcock.

8:20pm: In the back of the theatre, Unky sits down next to Ashley/Siri/Meg with a Large Coke, Sourpatch Kids and Popcorn, and places his arm around her.

8:25pm: The movie lights lower and Unky places his trigger hand on her thigh, she swoons.

8:45pm: Unky takes a page right out of Squatting Bear's book and places Ashley/Siri/Meg's hand it perfect HJ position.

8:46pm: Unky goes to the bathroom to clean up.

8:59pm: Ashley/Siri/Meg is gone. Unky goes to play Halo.

This is how I will remember this date happening until Unky posts the true story.


Unky Warthog said...

HJ and Clean-up took longer than you allowed, but otherwise yeah, that's how it went.

Josey WaIes said...

Thats how I see it going as well, there might have been some sudction with some musical instrument Unky plays,(mean that he played it for her, and ya maybe he did some other stuff with it) but its cool The Daymonster forgot, its hard to remember all these facts. Only question now is which chick, either Unky is going to be force to be a step dad soon or forced into being a real dad. Or he dates a crazy as hell chick, not sure which I am chearing for.